


Indebted (Sakusa X Reader)

by Yua_Kozume



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Haikyuu!! AU Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26123149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yua_Kozume/pseuds/Yua_Kozume
Summary: Growing up sickly is really annoying. You get to spend most of your time in the hospital. The white walls, the smell of lodoform and of course IV drops here and there. It brings back a lot of memories. That's why ever since I got out of the hospital I've set up my goal; that's to find that boy. I'll never know when I will be taken back to that prison so, I got to make this worth the shot.Sakusa Kiyoomi! I'll make sure to pay my debt!
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	1. "I found you"

**Author's Note:**

> (y/n) = your name

To see him; easy to say but that's actually harder to do especially for a girl who spent most of her life in the hospital not minding what's outside of that prison is.

 **"So this is what they call school. I've only read this from books; seems interesting."** I said to myself as I rubbed my chin while looking at the gate of Itachiyama Academy.

This is my first and might be my last year entering an actual school. I was home schooled since I was young, more like hospital schooled. I'm (y/n) and I'm a third year.

I looked around the school, mesmerized about what I'm seeing. ' _I can't believe it. I'm actually attending school'_ I thought as I skipped along the hallways up to my classroom. The bell rang and we all took a seat. The teacher asked me and the other male student to introduce ourselves. He goes first.

 **"Good morning everyone. My name is Takeda Osami. You can call me Omi for short."** He greeted. My eyes grew wide as I heard the name _"Omi"_.

**_Flashback (11 years ago)_ **

I was walking down the corridor while pulling my IV drop alongside my nurse when I saw a man dressed as a clown talking to his kid. _'Tch, it's that not so funny clown again'_ I thought. I walked passed them as I heard their conversation.

 **"To the room over there"** The clown pointed towards the direction to where I'm confined. **"There are kids who needs my help. They're sad and lonely, Omi so, we need to make them smile."** he continued as I clench my fist.

 **"But dad—"** He was interrupted by his father. Shaking his head indirectly telling him _'No buts'_.

**_Flashback End._ **

_'Could it be Omi!?'_ I thought as I turned to the boy who's giving his introduction. After the introduction, I sat on my seat but, I can't completely take my eyes off him. I didn't expect that meeting him was easier than I thought. The classes started and my butt's itching to talk to him already. I took some mini glances at him during the lectures and I think he noticed. As soon as the classes ended I ran to his table and said. **"Omi-san it's me! (Y/N)!"**

He gave me a confused looked. **"I'm sorry I don't remember anyone named (y/n)"** **"I'm that germ!"** I shouted pointing to myself happily. He choked himself and was trying to hold back his laughter. **"Are you seriously calling yourself a germ right now?"**

 **"You really don't remember?"** I asked again.

 **"More like we haven't met each other like literally."** He smirked as he pat my head before heading out.

I sighed. _'Yep this isn't really easy as I thought.'_ I thought to myself. A girl then tapped my shoulder. **"Hey! I'm Liliana. Seems like you we're embarrassed a while ago. Our classmates we're laughing at you."**

 **"Huh?"** I asked in confusion. **"What's wrong with what I did? I'm just trying to clarify something."**

She shook her head. **"Clarifying something is normal (y/n)-chan but calling yourself a germ! You really are something."**

 **"Oh that..."** I sighed. **"I was trying to look for someone I'm indebted with. It's been 11 years and the name Omi just gives me hope that I'll meet him."**

 **"I can help you, besides from the name Omi what else do you remember about him?"** she asked attentively listening to what I'm about to say.

 **"His father used to work as a hospital clown. Well, not really work but, volunteer."** I shrugged.

 **"This is harder than I thought though, I have an idea I'm guessing he's a kid your age."** I nodded in response. **"Why not I'll go search the whole school for a boy who have 'Omi' as their nickname? And you'll be the one to approach them. If you're lucky maybe he studies here as well."**

 **"That would help me a lot."** I cupped her hand as I say thank you over and over again.The next day me and Lilia decided to take our lunch at rooftop and discuss our plan.

 **"So (y/n) here's the list."** She showed me a piece of paper. I looked at the list.

 **"That's quite a lot, Lilia."** I said while munching a toast.

 **"Well, if you just looked at the names. It's really quite a lot but, if I do this.."** She crossed out some names on the list leaving 3. **"It's really just a few."**

 **"Why did you crossed out those?"** I asked.

 **"Well if we are really looking for your so called _'INDEBTED FRIEND'_ and based on your story he's about your age so.."** She handed me the piece of paper. **" Here, it's the list of guys in Itachiyama that can be the Omi you're looking for."**

 **"How come you're so good at this?"** I asked. She seemed like a detective to me.

 **"Ahh."** She scratch the back of her head. **"I want to be a police someday. Simple things like this give me interest."**

 **"You know what? I don't want to be your enemy someday."** I said. We both laughed. It was my first time to attend school but, I'm really enjoying this.

After I got home, I greeted my mom and dad. **"Hey mom! Hey dad! I'm home."** They just nodded and watched me as I slumped against the cushion. My dad came and placed his hand on my forehead.

 **"You okay, sweetheart?"** He asked.

 **"Yeah, I'm just tired."** I closed my eyes as I rest my rest head onto my father's shoulder.

 **"Are you still looking for him?"** My father suddenly asked. I nodded. My father told me not to look for him anymore because it's pointless but, I really want to do this.

 **"You insisted going to this school to look for him but, I hope you prioritize your happiness before your wants."** He lifted my head on his shoulder and placed a pillow under my head instead. I closed my eyes as I slowly drift to slumber.

The next day I swore to myself that I will find that Omi boy today. I brought that special thing with me.

Lilia's supposed to help me today but, the teacher called her in the office. I started off with the first person on the list. **"Hyuga Hiromi, 3rd year class 3-E"** I whispered.

 **"Looking for me?"** A guy suddenly spoke behind me. Startled, I ran off. I'm not really used with people around me. I grew up in the hospital so all I know is my nurse and my parents. I never had friends but, I'm trying my best to befriend the people around me.

 **"Oi! Oi!"** He shouted but I continued to run. Thoughts are swarming in my head. _'What if he thinks I'm a stalker'_ _'Am I that weird'_ _'Will I be kicked out of the school'_ those kinds of thoughts. My hastening was put to an end by a crash. I bumped into another person, placing him on top of me.

As his eyes opened from the crash he quickly stood up. **"So-sorrry"** he said. I was about to say that it's okay but I heard the Hiromi coming my way. I quickly hid behind the guy I crashed into. Hiromi quickly pointed his finger to the man. **"Tomomi? What are you doing here?"** He tilted his head to see me hiding behind the guy called Tomomi.

 _'Wait! Tomomi'_ I thought. _'It's one of the guys in the list. Haruno Tomomi, Class 2-B'_ I looked at piece of paper crumpled in my first. I was right it was him.

 **"Oi!"** Horomi shouted. I slide myself outside of my hiding and coughed. **"Ehem, I'm (y/n) does any of the two of you remember me perhaps?"** I looked at both of them.

 **"Huh? Stop talking crap, stalker. Here.."** He handed my bag. I forgot my bag for, I was busy running a while ago. **"Take it before I throw it in the trash."** I grabbed my bag and turned to Tomomi hoping that he's the Omi I know. He just turned away and started walking the other direction.

 **"Tomomi"** I shouted. He turned his head. **"Don't you remember me?"** I asked hoping to get the answer that I've been longing for.

 **" No—"** He suddenly grabbed my hand when a girl came running to his direction. **"Let me borrow you for a second"** he whispered. I nodded.

 **"B-babe, come on let's date on that tree."** He pulled me towards the direction of the tree near the volleyball court. **"I won't kiss you but, can you please close your eyes?"** I don't know what to do in this kind of situation so I just shut my eyes close and before I knew it, Tomomi's shouting in pain already. I opened my eyes to see a curly black haired guy with two moles parallel to each other. Apparently, he spiked a ball directly at the back of the head of Tomomi. He looked at both of us.

 **"The polluted air's already disgust me as it is, I didn't know that looking at you two disgusts me even more."** The curly guy said.

 **"SAKUSA KIYOOMI!"** Tomomi shouted. _'Sakusa Kiyoomi'_ I thought. he's the last guy on the list. _'Could he be...?'_ My eyes grew as I remembered something.

**_FLASHBACK (11 years ago)_ **

A boy was sitting on a bench outside the hospital; that's my usual spot whenever I want to go out for air. I sat beside him, about one human away from each other not minding what he's doing.

 **"I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi"** He suddenly started talking while facing front. _'Is he talking to me?'_ I thought. I just shrugged and looked at the sky in awe. **" And you are?"** He turned his head to me.

 **"Why do you care?"** I said as I give him a pissed look. **"You look like a germ."** He added.

 **"What?!"** I asked trying to check if I misheard him.

 **"But, I hate germs..."** He smiled as he looks up the sky but, his eyes speaks the other. _'Sakusa Kiyoomi huh? Seems interesting.'_ I thought to myself.

**_END OF FLASHBACK._ **

_'Could he be that Sakusa Kiyoomi'_ I thought to myself. **"Just because you're a germophobe doesn't mean you need to hit people with the ball if they disgust you. Hitting people and being a germophobe are two different things! You Jerk!"** Tomomi complained as he walked away past us. He tried to shoulder bump Sakusa but he dodge completely. 

**"Ahh..I really hate germs.."** I heard him whisper while he raises his face mask to his face; looking at the beautiful clear sky.

I gave out a grin from my face.I stretched out my arms and pointed my finger to him, causing him to turn to my direction. **"I finally found you."**

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. "The Date"

I stretched out my arm and pointed my finger to him, causing him to turn to my direction. **"I finally found you."**

He raised me a brow and turned his back walking towards the volleyball court. I quickly took my bag and ran after him. **"Sa-** **Ku** **-Sa"** I shouted as I catch my breath trying to ran after him. He didn't even bat an eye so, I threw my bag at him. **"I said wait!"**

The bag hit his back causing him to turn around. **"What the f*** **ck** **?"** I heard him say. I ran towards him. He gave me a death glare but I didn't mind.

 **"I'm (y/n)."** I said and he just stared at me rasing one brow.

 **"So? We all have names what makes you special?"** He said turning his back on me.

 **"Don't you remember me? I'm germ!!"** I shouted. I heard him gave a soft laugh before he started to bicker. " **Everyone's a germ for me. What's your point?"** I sighed as I realized that he does not remember me at all. I took my bag and brought out a hospital gown.

 **"See this stain here?"** I pointed the big black stain on the hospital gown. **"You did that!"** He just stared at me as I continue to speak. **" This is the time you brought spray paint in the hospital thinking it's Lysol and you sprayed it all over me calling me a germ and a jerk."**

 **"Okay, nice story. I'll get going now."** He turned his back and started to walk towards the volleyball court once again.

I was so pissed I threw the hospital gown to his face. He started shouting as soon as the hospital gown touched his skin. He took the hospital gown clenching his fist around it as he walks towards me and he snapped.

 **"What the f*** **ck** **is your problem?! Do you know how many germs hospital gowns have?!"** He threw the hospital gown on the grass causing it to get some soil in it. " **Who cares for the stupid Sakusa who thought spray paint was Lysol? It's all in the past."** He turned his back and ran towards the bathroom immediately.

 **"I do.."** I whispered as I slowly picked up the hospital gown and tried to wipe the dirt on it. _'It's all in the past huh? Well, I'm still not over it yet.'_ I thought as tears came running down my face.

I stood up and wiped my tears as I turned to my back I saw Lilia she looked so shocked. I thought she's shocked that I was crying so I said I'm fine and my eye just caught some dirt.

 **"Sakusa Kiyoomi...is the guy you're looking for?"** she asked.

 **"Yeah, he's the guy."** I said with a smile.

 **"Oh..."** I heard her whisper. She looks so down.

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

_'That stupid germ'_ I thought as wash my hands so hard with soap and water. I removed my face mask and washed my face. I turned to the mirror. **"(y/n), huh? Such a persistent germ."** I wiped my face and hands with handkerchief. As soon as I'm done cleaning, I walked straight to the gym for volleyball practice.

 **"You're looking good today, Omi. Your spikes are unstoppable. Did something happen?"** Komori asked. I just stared at him. I'm really pissed today. I feel like my body has been contaminated by an unkillable germ. **"Filthy"** I whispered.

**NOTE: For those who don't read or watch Haikyuu.** **Komori** **is** **Sakusa's** **Cousin.**

After practice I walked with Komori home. 

**"Is everything alright Sakusa?"** Komori asked.

 **"Yeah."** I said, looking up at the clear night sky. There's no clouds and you can see the twinkling stars clearly. 'So pretty.Is he even seeing this right now.' I thought.

 **"You seemed angry."** Komori added.

 **"A bit. I met this girl today. She's filthy and persistent."** I said.

 **"Oh, this is new. The oh so great** **germophobe** **Sakusa talking about a girl."** Komori teased.

 **"Shut up. I said filthy. Learn the difference between a compliment and an insult."** Komori laughed. **"Uhm,** **Komori** **?"** I asked.

**"Yeah?"**

**"Do you know any part time job I could get?"** I asked him. I've been thinking about this for a week and I finally said it.

 **"Oh is there something wrong? Why a part time job all of a sudden?"** He asked. I just shrugged. **"In your case, it's really hard to to find a job for a** **germophobe** **like you. But, there's this job I tried last week it's really popular."** He added.  
**"What is it?"** I asked.

**"It's rent a boyfriend. It's not really like a boyfriend like you'll date her. You'll just accompany her for a day and you'll tour her around the city that's it."**

**"Hmm, seems bearable. Teach me how to sign up."** I took my phone out and gave it to Komori as he helped me sign up. We parted ways right after then, walked home.

 **"I'm home."** I said right after I opened my door. I tapped my forehead in realization. **"Oh right, you're not here."**

**(Y/N) P.O.V.**

**"Hey mom! Hey dad! I'm home"** I said as I kissed them.

 **"Hey (y/n) honey, I saw your to bucket list in your room while I was cleaning. Do you want to fulfill some of those?"** My mom asked.

 **"Oh that..."** I scratched my head. **"I'm sorry if I made you worried about the title."** I'm trying to keep that list from my mom. The bucket list is titled _'BEFORE I DIE LIST'._ I made that when I was still sick. The doctor said I'm getting better that's why I'm out of the hospital already.

 **"No honey, I just want to make those come true especially that you're out of the hospital already."** My mom added.

 **"Also, I already booked you for this weekend."** My dad said. **"There's this popular app that says rent a boyfriend. It'll make you feel like you have a boyfriend while he tours you around the city for a day."** My dad added.

 **"Wait, what?? What's all of this? Why are you booking me for a date."** I protested.

 **"It's not a date. Actually your awesome dad right here made everything safe.** **HOHOHO** **"** He placed his hands on his waist and raised his head proudly. My mom laughed in the background. **"I chose this guy named 'I am the** **germophobe** **'. It says in his conditions he won't touch you just tour you in the city. Safe and clear because no one shall dare lay their hand on our precious baby. It's like hitting two birds with one stone honey!"**

 **"Yeah, you wanted a tour around the city and a boyfriend. I approved since it seemed safe."** My mom backed up my dad's statement. 

I just sighed, I was planning to go to Liliana and ask more about Sakusa but what can I do.

~~~

The next day, I've prepared for the tour so I wore a dress and started texting my _'so called boyfriend'_ for the day.

 **From:** Me   
**To:** _I am the_ _Germophobe_

**_Hey! I'm heading out my house. I'm wearing a blue dress and you?_ **

**From:** _I am the_ _Germophobe_  
**_I'm wearing black shirt with a jacket also black, black pants, black mask. In short, all black._**

 _'What the heck is wrong with this person? Did he lose someone? What's with the all black outfit'_ I thought. I put my sandals on and walked to our meeting place. We're suppose to meet Shibuya Station.

**NOTE: In our country wearing all black means you lost someone.**

When I arrive at the station I was looking for the guy in the text message but I can't seem to find him. My phone rang. I saw a text message from him.

**From:** _I am the_ _germophobe_  
_**Where are you? it's been 30 minutes now. You'll pay for compensation at this rate.** _

**From:** Me   
**To:** _I am the_ _Germophobe_  
**_I can't find you. I've been looking around here for a while now_**. 

**From:** _I am the_ _Germophobe_  
**_I'll come get you stay where you are._**

I was about to describe my surrounding when I bumped into someone familiar. _'Sakusa'_ I thought. _'What is he doing here?'_

 **"Hey! Watch where you're going—"** His eyes grew so did mine. He's wearing the same outfit my so called boyfriend is describing.

 **"You—"** We both pointed at each other in shock. _'No, this can't be! This isn't how I planned us to meet again.'_ I thought.

 **"Ugh, are you 'I am the** **germophobe** **'?"** I asked. His eyes grew again. _'Ugh, I'm right. What do I do? He's not comfortable with me yet. I need to make a good impression to pay the debt'_ I rant in my head.

 **"And you're 'Daddy's precious girl'?** **Pfftt** **—"** He gave a soft laugh.

 **"You know what, we can just pretend that we didn't see each other and go on our separate ways."** I suggested. **"Goodbye."** I turned my back on him. _'If he ran after me after this I'll die! Kami-sama please make me some sweet scene here like a scene from the_ _romcom_ _books I'm reading'_ I begged the Gods in my head.

**NOTE: Kami-sama means Deity in Japanese and** **Arigatou** **means thank you (you'll encounter this word as you read).**

**"Oi germ!"** He threw his mini Lysol at the back of my head. I touched the back of my head and groan. _'Kami-sama! Why did you do this to me! It's a painful scene.'_ **I** ranted. **"Don't go"** He added. I turned to him and picked up the mini Lysol.

 **"How dare you throw your Lysol at me. Let me remind you I'm your client do you get that?"** I placed my right hand on my waist as my left hand handed him the Lysol.

 **"I need the money so, stay."** He said and he stared at my hand that's trying to give back his Lysol. **" Don't."** He pushed my hand back with a pen. **" Keep that. I have dozens at home and your germ's already there."**

 **"Do you really hate germs? Or do you just hate me?"** I asked him. _'He plays volleyball so he must have just hate me. The sweat from people sticks to ball after all'_ I thought.

 **"Both. Now let's get going, shall we?"** He asked. I was about to do just as he says but, I got an idea.

" **Ehem, supposedly you're also going to make me feel like I have a boyfriend."** I smirked at him. He just showed me a disgusted face so I gave him the money sign. **"I'll pay you twice"** I mouthed. He rolled his eyes.

 **"Here"** He brings out a long white cloth and threw the other end to me which, I successfully catched. **"Tie it on your wrist. I've watched this from a movie. This works. It looks romantic while, we keep the distance between us."** He added.

I grinned. _'I thought he'll decline my request._ _Arigatou_ _Kami-sama'_ I thought before I tied the other end on my wrist.

I twist and turned but I can't tie the other end properly. Sakusa just watched me as I struggled. **"Are you stupid?"** He asked.

 **"No, It's just hard. You clean freak!"** I said. I rolled the other end on my palm. **"I'll just hold it like this. It'll look like you're my dog though."** I giggled. He just rolled his eyes and walked pulling me along.

 **"It's other way around idiot. I'm going to pull you around. Be ready"** He smirked and started walking.

We've been walking for a while now, more like pulling me around. _'Is this really how people tour around the city'_ I thought.

I nearly tripped on a stone causing Sakusa to turn around. **"Stupid and clumsy, okay. What else can you do? Show me more."** He teased.

 **"For your information clean freak, you're 189 cm tall and I'm just 159 cm here. Your legs are longer than mine."** I protested.

 **"Okay. I'll try to slow down but, still try to keep up."** He turned and walked slowly.

We arrived at our destination after a few minutes. It's the Hatchiko Statue. There's a lot of people and I can see him struggling not to bump into anyone while walking. He looked so uncomfortable even though his face is hidden inside a mask.

 **"Hey Sakusa we can—"** I said then I was interrupted.

 **"Watch out!"** He tugged the other side of the rope when he saw a ball incoming my way. I was pulled to his chest. My eyes grew.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	3. "Declaration of the Rival"

**"Watch out!"** He tugged the other side of the rope when he saw a ball incoming my way. I was pulled to his chest or that's what I thought. He side stepped as I face the ground with my knees and face. _'Kami-sama is this the reason you made me grow up in the hospital? I understand now. Please give me patience.'_ I ranted as I stood up breathing in and breathing out heavily.

 **"Why didn't you catch me?"** I turned to him pointing the bruises on my knees.

 **"Why would I catch a germ? Duh. That's very disgusting."** He said. I was on the verge of snapping when I remembered I'm indebted with this person. _'Calm down (y/n) remember that you're indebted with this jerk. You want to pay him back. Yes. That's it.'_ I took a deep breath when I felt that he's pulling the other side of the cloth already.

 **"Come with me"** He said. He dragged me to a area where it's less crowded.

 **"Why did you take me here? I thought you're gonna show me the** **Hatchiko** **Statue."** I asked.

 **"Sit"** He pointed to the bench behind me. I followed his instruction. He brought out something from his bag, an alcohol and a band aid.

 **"What's in your bag anyway? Every time I see you bring out something it's either a disinfectant or a cleaning supply."** He just raised a brow like he didn't hear what I said.He bended on one knee as he opened the bottle of alcohol and sprayed it to my wound. He looked at me and I just smiled.

 **"Does it hurt?"** He asked.

I shook my head and said. **"No, I'm used to this. I grew up the hospital more like prison. They do far more worse than what you're doing right now."** I laughed. His eyes showed a bit of concerned which made me uncomfortable. I don't like being pitied. I hate those kinds of eyes.

He gave me the band aid that he's holding between his thumb and forefinger while raising the other fingers looking like a number 3 sign.

 **"Here, put it on yourself. I don't want to touch germs"** I giggled at his expression. _'He hates germs that much?'_ I thought. _'That's cute.'_ I added. I took the band aid and applied it to my bruise.

I stood up and said. **"So, what now? We can't see the** **Hatchiko** **statue anymore. There's a lot of people there you'll feel uncomfortable."** He just looked at me.

 **"I can take you there. It's my job anyway."** He suggested.

 **"No, don't. Don't force yourself to do something you're uncomfortable with."** I placed my hand on my chin trying to think of something. **"Ah!** " I raised my forefinger. **"I have an idea. Why not tell me the** **Hatchiko** **story although I've read it already. It'll be a whole new different story if I heard it from you."** I smiled. I patted the seat right beside me while I looked at him asking him to seat. He crossed his brow and brought out Lysol out of his bag. He sprayed it on the bench before sitting. We're one human apart like when we first met in the hospital. I smiled as I remembered.

 **"** **Hachiko** **was a Japanese Akita dog remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner,** **Hidesaburo** **Ueno** **, for whom he continued to wait for over nine years following** **Ueno's** **death."** He narrated.

 **"He's one loyal dog isn't he??"** I smiled as I looked up at the clear sky. He did the same.

 **"No, he's one stupid dog. He waited for a germ."** He brought his face mask down letting the sun ray kiss his skin as he closed his eyes. I was looking at him with awe. _'He's one pretty boy.'_ I thought.

 **"Why do you hate germs anyway?"** I asked. His eyes opened and I saw pain.

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

_'Why do I hate germs?'_ I thought. I looked at her. She reminds me of her. She's a happy go lucky person. She gives me that light as a feather feeling.

**Flashback (Sakusa when 5 years old.)**

**"Omi~!!"** She called. She opened her arms wide open for me to be locked in her embrace.

 **"Mama!"** I shouted as I ran towards her embrace.

She looked at me. **"You played in the dirt again, Omi"** She patted my shirt and pants removing the dirt on them. **"Didn't I tell you there's a lot of germs there? Do you want to get sick? I'll be sad if you do"** She asked.

 **"No, I'll never play in the dirt again mama."** I hugged her. She carried me on her arms.

 **"Let's go take a bath."** She said. She prepared a lukewarm bath and took my clothes off. As he rubs my back. I asked her.

 **"Mama, how long do germs live?"** I looked at her.

She gave me a sweet smile. **"They don't live that long but they can damage your health, Omi."** She smiled and continued to wash me. _'I'll be the cleanest person on earth.'_ I proclaimed in my head.

**End of Flashback.**

**"But you're the germ..."** I murmured as the rays of sunlight kissed my eyes.

 **"What did you say??"** She asked. _'Ah, I got lost in my thoughts again'_ I thought. I pulled my mask back up and stood.

 **"I just hate them because they're dirty."** I said. I pulled the other end of the cloth. **"Get up! Let's go."** I commanded.

**(Y/N)'s P.O.V.**

_'What's with him?'_ I thought. _'Did he have a bad memory on a germ? What memory could a germ give him anyway.'_ I added. I wonder what he meant about _'You're the germ?'_ Is he pertaining to me?

I stood up and followed him. The whole walk was quiet. He brought me to a famous food chain. It's so crowded and hot. I tugged the other side of the cloth.

 **"Let's eat somewhere else."** I looked around and saw a high end restaurant. **"Like...There!"** I pointed.

 **"That's an expensive restaurant."** He complained.

 **"And not crowded."** I giggled. **"It's on me but, one condition you can't say no to what I'm about to ask later okay?"** I dragged him to the restaurant before he could even say a word. The waiter showed us to our seat as usual, he prayed Lysol to his seat. I let go of the cloth rolled on my palm for a while.

 **"So what's the condition?"** He asked as he looks on the menu.

 **"Before that, don't you remember me?"** I asked. He looked in my eyes. I can see his cold black orb shimmer in the reflection of light. _'It's so pretty'_ I thought.

 **"No, did we met before?"** He answered.

 **"Yes and I'm going to make you remember."** I said. **"So, my condition is go out with me next weekend not as my fake boyfriend but, as a friend that I'll be touring around."** I smiled. I pointed my fork in front of him.

 **"To where? And what are you doing? Weirdo."** He asked pointing at the fork.

 **"It's a secret. Don't worry it's not that crowded. And this fork, It's our sign of agreement."** I smiled. **"You don't want to shake my hand so, just tap your fork against mine as an agreement."** I pointed his fork. He raised his fork hesitating for a second but, eventually tapping his fork on to mine making a clang sound.

We ate our food and headed out. I took the end of the cloth again and rolled it onto my palm. We we're laughing on our way out after talking about how he's not so gentleman after letting me fall a while ago.

We we're about to go to another destination when we saw Liliana. Her eyes grew and she seemed shocked.

 **"Hey Liliana!"** I greeted.

 **"Oh, Hey (y/n)!"** She turned to Sakusa **"Hey...Omi"** she greeted back. I can feel the awkward tension between them.

 **"Tch"** I heard Sakusa annoyed. Liliana looked at the cloth in between us.

 **"Can I talk to you for a second (y/n)?"** she asked. I pulled an envelope from my bag and unrolled the cloth on from my hand. I handed Sakusa the envelope.

 **"Thanks for today** **Saku** **-chan!"** I smiled. His eyes grew upon hearing _'_ _Saku_ _-chan'_ so did Liliana's.

We parted ways and I followed Liliana. We got inside a cafe and took a seat.

 **"Are you okay? Do you feel good?"** She asked.

Confused about the sudden question, I answered. **"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"**

 **"Actually, I was called the other day out of the teachers concern. They were worried that you're not doing well especially that you've been confined for a long time."** she said as she sip her cup of tea gracefully. _'She's so pretty and graceful'_ I thought.

 **"Oh that, I'm okay now. The doctor said that I'm stable now that's why I've been discharged."** I said. **"So how's your date?"** she asked.

 **"It's not a date!"** I corrected. **"It's just a tour around the city. It's just a coincidence that he's the one I got booked with the rent a boyfriend app."** I explained.

 **"Oh, Omi does that now huh? I'm impressed."** She whispered.

 **"Are you and Sakusa close? You're calling him by his first name."** I asked out of curiosity. She just smiled at me and stood up.

 **"Let's go."** She said.

**Liliana's** **P.O.V.**

_'Should I tell her? But, If I do she might have the same feelings for him like I do. It'll be such a hassle to let her chase a guy who doesn't want any help.'_ I thought.

**Flashback (A year before)**

Sakusa has been my first ever crush. We've been classmates since middle school. Although he's a germophobe and doesn't like anyone near him. I think it's cute and a unique. One day as I'm walking back home. Someone called my name to my surprise it's him. **"You dropped your handkerchief."** He said. He didn't pick it up. Instead he just pointed it on the ground. Understandable since, he's a germophobe. _'I can't believe he remembers me'_ I thought.

Every evening I'll sneak to the gym to watch him play volleyball. It's the only place I can see him not wearing a face mask. We sometimes get to talk about little things until, I became his partner on a project one day. We decided to go to his house and finish the work there.

When I got there, there was only him. His parents were not there. I asked him. **"Where are your parents?"**

 **"My dad's in the hospital"** He said. **"My mom... she's away."** He gestured me to seat down and we both got the works done.

Out of curiosity before, leaving I asked him. **"Why's your dad in the hospital?"** He just stared at me, he didn't answer. **"How about the bills who's paying?"**

 **"Me."** He replied. He never talked after that. He showed me my way out.

The next few days I was busy creating a fund raising for him. I wanted to help him in any way as possible.

One day, he came barging into the classroom. **"Oh, hi Omi!"** I greeted.

 **"Why did you do that?!"** He shouted. Komori in the background trying to hold him back. I was scared. I've never seen that expression before.

 **"D-did what..?"** I stuttered.

 **"You're the one who's sending me money!"** He threw the pieces of envelope on my table. **"I never asked for help! Are you trying to look down on me because of my situation?! I'm not a beggar Liliana!"** He shouted.

 **"I w-was just trying to help, Omi!"** I pleaded as I touched his arm. He swung his arm away.

 **"Don't touch me germ! Don't ever show that pitiful expression again."** He turned his back. I was so scared and so hurt.I ran towards him.

 **"It's because I like you!"** I shouted in the corridor. People we're looking at us but, I didn't care. **"I did that because I like you, Omi! I wanted to help."** He turned to look at me. His eyes were different. They possess a monstrous aura.

 **"Did you really like me or did you pity me?"** He said with a scary smile on his face before turning his back. I was left in the corridor processing all that happened.He was my first love and I won't give him up. I want to help.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

As me and (y/n) is walking I stopped before parting ways. I turned to her.

 **"What's wrong Liliana?"** she asked.

 **"About Sakusa, he's my first love and I'm not giving up on him."** I smiled. **"Let the best girl win."** I offered my hand for a hand shake. She took my hand hesitating while she's trying to process everything that's happening.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	4. "Forgotten Memories"

As soon as I got home. I jumped on my bed and rolled as I try to contemplate everything that has happened today. _'Did I just got a rival?'_ I thought. ' _This is absurd. Does that mean I can't be her friend anymore?'_ I added. 

**"Nooooo"** I shouted.

My dad and mom came barging in. **"Is everything alright, sweetheart?"** My dad asked.

 **"I'm okay. It's just that I got a rival mom!! Dad!!"** I cried. I never experienced having friends before. That's why having my only friend call me a rival is really confusing. **"Does that mean I can't be friends with her?"** I hugged my mom.

 **"Tell me what happened then, I'll tell you the answer."** My mom said. I told her what happened as I cried my heart out. She laughed and my dad sighed.

 **"I guess I'll leave you girls to it!"** my dad said as he shut the door.   
  


**(Y/N)'s Dad P.O.V.**   
  


As I close the door I can feel my heart pounding so fast. I closed my fist and raised it above my head. _'My baby girl's growing! I'm so happy!'_ I thought but, I remembered that she mentioned a boy a while ago. **"I'm going crush and pound you boy! No one dares approach my precious baby! NO ONE!"** I shouted softly..  
  


**(Y/N)'s P.O.V.**   
  


My mom patted my back. **"I think she meant you'll be her rival if you like the same guy. Don't cry too much."** she comforted.

 **"But, I don't like Sakusa.."** I said. _'Or do I?'_ I thought to myself. I wiped my eyes and sat straight to face my mom. **"Mom, how do you know if you like someone?"**

 **"Hmmm..."** She looked up and smiled then, looked at me. **"When your heart race when you see that person and he makes you feel comfortable"** she said. She stood up and waved goodbye **"Well then, I'll be going now."** She goes out and shut the door.

 _'Do I like him? If I do then, Liliana won't be my friend anymore.'_ I thought. I stayed up late contemplating if I like Sakusa and how will I approach Liliana knowing that she just declared herself as my rival.   
  


**~~~**   
  


The next day, I looked like a walking zombie. I have dark eye bags. I look so pale. I can't even pay attention to my surroundings. I bumped into someone and didn't even turned to see who is it. **"Sorry.."** I said.

 **"Hey (y/n)! Are you okay?"** It was a female voice. I turned to see who is it and to my surprise it was Liliana. I cried. I thought she won't talk to me ever again.

 **"Liliana!"** I cried. **"I thought you'll never talk to me again! I'm still your friend right? I promise I don't like Saku—"** She covered my mouth.

 **"Shh! We're in the corridors, a lot of people will hear you."** She said. She pulled me to the rooftop. **"So?"** She asked.

 **"I don't like Sakusa please still be my friend!"** I begged. _'I don't know if I like him or not but, I don't want to lose my one and only friend'_ I thought.

 **"Silly!"** She pinched my cheeks. **"Even if you like Omi you're still my friend. It's for him to decide."** She looked at me and smiled.

 **"So you're still my friend?"** I asked for reassurance.

 **"Yes."** She giggled. **"But, I don't think you don't like Sakusa though."**

 **"Why?"** I asked.

 **"Nothing, I just felt it. Other than you're indebted with him although, I don't know what exactly is that debt is. I think there's more to it."** She smiled.

 **"But I don't think I like him though."** I said. She walked forward to the door.

 **"Then, try kissing him"** She laughed as she ran towards the door. She shouted something but, I didn't hear it.

 _'Kiss Sakusa?'_ I thought. _'I don't even know how to kiss a guy. How am I supposed to do this.'_ I added.

After the classes are over, Liliana brought me to the volleyball gym. We sat in the bleachers. **"Look, this is the only time where you'll see Sakusa without his mask."** She pointed to Sakusa who's currently spiking. The ball hit the floor and the sound of the ball hitting the ground is somewhat satisfying.

 **"Are we going to play too?"** I asked excitedly. _'I really want to spike the ball just like that.'_ I thought.

 **"No, silly!"** She poked my forehead. **"I'm helping you realize your feelings!"**

 **"Ohh!"** I said. **"So, what's step one?"** I looked at her.

 **"Step one!?"** She asked confused.

 **"Well, there's always a step by step process in the books I read regarding things like this."** I smiled at her waiting for her answer. She turned her face around and massaged her forehead.

 **"There's no step one. Look at him!"** She pointed to Sakusa. **"Don't you feel your heart race? Isn't he sexy?"** She grabbed my face and turned it to Sakusa's direction.

I crossed my brows and stared at him. I turned to Liliana. **"I guess, he looks good with the sweat and all"** I said. She facepalms.

 **"You know what? This isn't working. Let's go."** She stood up and started walking.

 **"Are you sure? Can't we play that as well?"** I asked. She just shook her head and we walked home.

As soon as I arrived. **"Hey mom! Hey dad!"** I shouted and ran towards my computer upstairs. _'Figure my feelings. Kiss sakusa!'_ I thought. I search the internet about how to kiss a boy.

First thing I read is **_'If someone is moving in to kiss you, all you need to do is relax, tilt your head slightly to the right, keep your lips soft and slightly parted, close your eyes, and then meet their lips with yours.'_** I also read other articles and I think I'm ready. 

**"Yosh! Noted! OPERATION KISS SAKUSA START!"** I shouted and jumped on my bed.   
  


**Third Person's P.O.V.**   
  


At the other side of (y/n)'s room her parents are listening on her door.

 **"My baby's going to kiss someone honey!!"** Her dad cried as he whispered.

 **"Shhh!"** Her mother covered her husband's mouth. **" Let her grow! She's old enough."** Her mother whispered.

 **"Noo!"** Her dad whispered as he was dragged by her happy wife to their own room.   
  


**(Y/N)'s P.O.V.**   
  


The week past by so fast and it's already the weekend. I tried to look good today. I tried to apply make up on my face using what I learned in the internet in a short period of time. _'Today's a special day'_ I thought. I walked out the house, chin up because I'm proud of myself. I think I look pretty. _'Will he compliment me?'_ I thought.   
  


We're supposed to meet in front of the school. As I arrive there, I saw him. He's leaning on a wall on the corner trying to avoid the people passing by. I ran to his direction.

 **"Hey!"** I shouted. He looked at me from head to toe then, crossed his brows and bend towards me. His face is about an inch close to mine. It reminded me about what I read in the internet. _'Close your eyes (y/n)! This is it he's going to kiss you! I didn't expect it to be this fast but, arigatou Kami-sama'_ I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and pouted my lips.

 **"What are you doing?"** He asked. I opened my eyes to see him giving me wipes.

 **"What? Aren't you going to kiss me because I'm pretty?"** I asked.

 **"What the f*ck? Eww. For an idiot like you, you're bluntly honest, it's scary."** He said. **"Remove your make up you look like a clown. Who wears make up like that?"** He added. I grabbed the wipes and glared at him as I wipe my face.

 _'I did this make up for almost an hour. I tried my absolute best!'_ I ranted in my head. **"There better!?"** I shouted grumpily.

He walked forward. **"You look better without make up but, you're still a germ"** He said.

I smiled and pretended not to hear what he said. **"What?"** I asked.

 **"You're one disgusting germ, I said."** His eyes smiled. I saw that even though his face is covered with a mask his eyes shows the expression. I walked alongside him and he push me with pen. **"Move forward, keep 1 meter distance please. I'll walk behind you."** I pouted and do as he instructed.

We arrived at our destination and he suddenly froze upon seeing the place.

 **"Hospital?"** he asked.

I nodded. **"This is where we first met c'mon!"**

 **"No, let's go somewhere else."** He suggested.

I crossed my arms. **"No! You promised so, you obey."** I commanded. He's about to turn away when I said. **"I'll touch you if you don't come with me!"** He stopped and I smirked at my mini victory.

 **"As if you can keep up with me with that short legs of yours."** He said.

I moved forward and tried to touch his hand. He sprayed disinfectant on my face. I cough while waving my hand.

I glared at him. He rolled his eyes. **"Fine."** He said. My face lit up as I skipped down the hospital entrance. 

**"Weirdo."** I heard him say.

We stopped on a bench placed under a Sakura tree. **"Do you remember this?"** I asked.

 **"No, what's with the bench?"** He asked.

 **"Sit!"** I said. He sprayed the bench with Lysol before sitting.We sat on the bench one human apart from each other. **"This is where we first met."** I looked at him and continued. **"You introduced yourself here."**  
  


**Flashback (11 years ago)**   
  


A boy was sitting on a bench outside the hospital; that's my usual spot whenever I want to go out for air. I sat beside him, about one human away from each other not minding what he's doing.

 **"I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi"** He suddenly started talking while facing front. _'Is he talking to me?'_ I thought. I just shrugged and looked at the sky in awe. **" And you are?"** He asked again. He turned his head to me.

 **"Why do you care?"** I said as I give him a pissed look.

 **"You look like a germ."** He insulted. I don't know if he means it or not. His face shows no expression.

 **"What?!"** I asked trying to check if I misheard him.

 **"But, I hate germs..."** He smiled as he looks up the sky but, his eyes speaks the other. _'Sakusa Kiyoomi huh? Seems interesting.'_ I thought to myself. I was about to ask him something when suddenly a man wearing a clown suit came looking for him.

 **"Omi! Omi! Where did you go??"** He ran towards the man.

 **"Papa!"** He shouted as he ran towards the man in the clown suit.

He bended on one knee and looked at his son. **"Where did you go?"** Sakusa pointed to the bench I'm sitting on. **"I told you not to wander around."** His father sighed.

His father walked towards us holding his son's hand and bowed. **"I'm sorry! Did my son caused you inconvenience? He can be grumpy sometimes please forgive him."**

My nurse smiled at the man while I stared at the young Sakusa hiding behind his father's back. **"Not at all sir, he just sat there quietly looking at the sky."** My nurse said.

He turned to his son. **"Did you talked to your mom, again?"** The boy nodded.

 _'Talked to his mom?'_ I pondered.

We walked to my ward after I had enough taste of fresh air. The man in the clown suit was there talking to his son again.

 _'Tch, it's that not so funny clown again'_ I thought. He's here in my ward every weekend making the other kids happy but, not me. I walked passed them as I heard their conversation.

 **"To the room over there"** The clown pointed towards the direction to where I'm confined. **"There are kids who needs my help. They're sad and lonely, Omi so, we need to make them smile."** he continued as I clench my fist.

 **"But dad—"** He was interrupted by his father. Shaking his head indirectly telling him _'No buts'._

I got inside my room and sat on my bed. The food was there. My parent's are out. My dad needs to work while, my mom needs to go out to buy my medicines.

The man in the clown suit came inside while his kid sat on an available chair. The man started to joke around, everyone was laughing and having fun except me. I thought of the man as a annoying person who mocks people who are sick, like me. I threw my food bowl to the clown.

 **"Stop!"** I shouted. **"Stop mocking us! We'll never be happy. No matter how hard you try to make us laugh you can't cure us!"**

 **"(y/n)!"** My nurse shouted as she tried to hold me back.

 **"Don't touch me!"** I shouted at her then, looked at the young Sakusa and his father. **"You!"** I pointed to his dad. **"You're doing this out of pity aren't you!? I don't need your pity! We don't need your pity!"** I shouted as tears came running down my face I took my pole of IV drop and pulled it myself as I walked out of the room.

A boy came running to me, it was Sakusa. He walked in front of me trying to stop me. **"Move!"** I shouted and before I knew it he slapped me.

 **"My dad was sad too! My dad was in pain too! He lost his hopes too but, no one came to make him happy like you do."** Tears came streaming down his face as my eyes grew. I can see the exact pain I saw when he was staring at the sky. **"You should be indebted to my father! He go out his way to make you happy! He did his best to make you happy even though, you're a germ and even though he himself is hurting"** He was about to say more but, his dad pulled him.

 **"Omi, stop! I'm sorry! I'll do better next time!"** His father bowed to me.

 **"Why are you bowing!? What are you saying sorry for, dad!?"** The young Sakusa shouted and ran away shouting. **"All of you are stupid! All of you are germs!"**

My mom came rushing as she saw the commotion. She asked what happened and my nurse explained. I felt the sting from the slap I got a while ago. _'I'm indebted?'_ I thought as I cupped my swollen face. _'Then, I'll make sure to pay that debt'_ I promised to myself.   
  


**END OF FLASHBACK**   
  


**"Do you remember now?"** His eyes grew.

 **"Yeah..."** He sighed. **"Sorry for doing that but, you're still a germ though."** He said.

 **"No, I should be sorry."** I said. **"Close your eyes. I'm going to give you something."** I added. He looked at me to check if he's safe with me before closing his eyes.

I moved closer to him and whispered. **"I'm going to remove your mask."** He got shock. He opened his eyes and his sudden movement made me kiss his lips indirectly to his mask.

Both our eyes grew and my heart started to race.   
  


**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	5. "He who hates germs"

He opened his eyes and his sudden movement made me kiss his lips indirectly to his mouth.

Both our eyes grew and my heart started to race. I quickly moved away from him. I felt my cheeks burning. I turned to look at him and saw his ears turning red. **"Why did you move!?"** I shouted.

He stayed silent and turned the other way. He took some disinfectant. He sprayed it everywhere. I threw him the box.

 **"What is this?"** He asked.

 **"It's a gift. I wanted to put it on you myself but you moved. It's not a kiss okay!? It's not counted."** I defended. I stood up and turned to the other side. 'What have I done? Did I kiss him? Is this counted? My heart's beating so fast. Does that mean I like him?' I thought.

 **"I didn't say anything. Why are you so defensive? You just contaminated my mask."** He said as he opened the box. He saw a black mask he placed it in his palm examining the mask I gave him. It has a personalized patch on the side, it's a germ.

 **"Do you like it?"** I asked. He didn't answer instead he hid the box inside his bag. **"Oh.."** I whispered. _'I guess he didn't like it.'_ I thought _'Oh well, the design is a bit childish after all'_ I added. My face turned into a frown.

He stared at me. **"I hid it because I didn't want to wear a mask that I didn't wash myself, idiot."** He said. He stood up and look up the sky. **"The sky's pretty so, where do we go next?"**

 **"You still want to continue?"** I asked. I thought he'll excuse himself to leave because of the accident.

 **"I promised. Didn't I?"** He raised me a brow.

 **"Okay then, let's check my old ward!"** I suggested. We walked to the said ward but, stopped when we saw a familiar guy. **"Oh!"** I pointed to the man. **"It's Mr. Clown! It's you're father** **Saku** **-chan!"** I cheered happily.

I ran towards his father. **"What are you doing here Mr. Clown? Are you sick?"** I asked. I was smiling the whole time without even noticing that the color in Sakusa's face are gone. I turned to him. **"Sakusa..??"** I called.

 **"Omi..."** His father called.

 **"I think I must put this tour to an end. I'll go."** He said as he turned his back while his hands are on his pockets.

 **"Omi! Let's talk please.."** His father begged. I saw the pain in his father's eyes. I ran towards Sakusa.

 **"Hey what's wrong with you? Your father's calling you!"** I tried to reach for his arm.

He took a step back. **"Don't touch me! I got nothing to say to a germ. If he wants to talk to me, he needs to stop** **being** **one."** He shouted. His eyes, I can see them. They're in so much pain.

 **"Ack- Omi...."** His father called as he tried to ran towards his son but, eventually tripped himself. 

**"Mr. Clown!"** I shouted as I ran towards him giving him a support.

 **"Sakusa!"** I called him again. He didn't even bat an eye instead he just continued walking. I saw both pain in their eyes. It seeks for help. It feels like they're drowning and no one can hear them.

I helped the poor Mr. Clown stand up and guide him to his own ward. He asked me to sit down beside his bed and I did. **"Please don't hate Omi. He's a good child."** He pleaded as he reached for my hand. **"He's the best child I could ever have. He's just in pain and he don't know how to handle things the way they are right now."** He added.

I nodded. **"I know that** **Saku** **-chan isn't a rude person."** Upon saying that I was reminded of the way his eyes looked a while ago. The pain and agony it shows. It made me wanna ask why and how did a young boy acquired such sorrowful eyes.

 **"I don't mean to be rude but, may I ask what turned** **Saku** **-chan into that kind of person he is now?"** The old man's eyes grew and he sighed.

 **"He really don't like other people knowing this but, I think you'll be able to help him. This is my only favor, please don't use his weakness against him. He's still a boy and he's the only one I have left."** I nodded in response. He started narrating what happened.

**Flashback (12 years ago)**

**NOTE: The flashback will be viewed in the P.O.V. of Sakusa to be understood better.**

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

I was very fond of my mother. She's the light in this house. I favored her more than my father. Whenever she comes home I'll run to her and give her a kiss. She always tells me to clean myself and don't let germs contaminate my beautiful skin.

 **"Omi~"** My mother shouted from the kitchen.

 **"Coming mom!"** I shouted as I skipped to the kitchen.

She bended on one knee to match my height. **"Do you want to go the Park tomorrow?"**

 **"Can we?"** I asked for reassurance.

 **"Yes!"** She patted my head. **"But, I want your room cleaned and you, to be smelling good before I finish cooking lunch okay?"** She commanded. I nodded in response and got inside the shower immediately.

After my shower, I ran towards my mom only to see her sprawled in the kitchen. My eyes widen as I saw my mother in pain and I don't know what to do. I cried for help.

 **"Papa!"** I shouted but, he isn't home. He's working during this time of the day. **"Anyone please!"** I screamed and cried. No one heard me. Until, I felt my mother caressing my back.

 **"Omi..."** She whispered. **"Get my phone and I'll tell you what to do okay?"** She smiled even though she's in pain. She's trying to reassure me that everything's going to be alright.

I did what she commanded me to do. After half an hour an ambulance came rushing in. I watched them carry her inside the mobile.

They didn't let me tag along due to my young age. I held on my mother's hand before they took her away. **"Hey buddy! Everything will be alright."** She said.

The night of the incident, my dad came rushing to me. **"Omi! Are you okay?!"** He asked as he checked my body. Making me turn around a few times. He hugged me right after.

I cried. As a kid, I was shocked. I didn't know what happened to my mom. I was nervous. **"What about mom? Will she be okay? She's alone in the hospital, dad."**

 **"I know you're worried. Let's go there, okay?"** My dad said. We're about to head out when I stopped for a second.

 **"I can't papa."** I said as I looked down.

 **"Why? Don't you want to see mama?"** He asked.

 **"Mama said that I can't go anywhere if I'm dirty. It'll make her sad. I don't want to see mama sad."** I said.

 **"Okay, papa will wait here. Go ahead and do your thing."** He said. I quickly ran to the bathroom to wash myself, take a brush and change my clothes. After, I'm done I ran to Papa. He was sleeping in the corridor. _'Papa must be tired'_ I thought.

I ran to mama and papa's room. I took some blanket and put in a bag for papa to use in the hospital. I ran to papa to wake him up and we took a cab to the hospital.

Upon arriving, papa asked the Desk for my mother's ward. We ran towards the ward immediately. There's mama she's sitting there like nothing happened. She was reading a book.

 **"Omi~"** She called out. She opened her arms for me to be engulfed in her embrace. I ran towards her, climbing her bed as I engulf myself to her warm embrace.

Ever since the accident mama stayed in the hospital. She still taught me about cleanliness and it's importance. She reminded me everyday.On the other hand, my dad needs to work to pay the bills.

I learned to commute to the hospital after school during her stay. One day we got to talk about germs again.

 **"Hey mom isn't it normal to caught germs?"** I asked. **" I saw in a commercial that disinfectants only kill 99.9% of germs. What happens to the 0.01%?"** I added. She caressed me my hair as I sat on her lap.

 **"Germs don't last that long Omi but they leave damage sometimes, for example they might harm your health and make you sick."** Mama said.

 **"That's just sad, mama. No one asked them to be a germ, right? But, they were born to harm others without their free will."** I said. **"They're like you mama!"** I added.

 **"What makes you say that Omi? Is mama a germ now?"** She giggled.

 **"Yes, mama's a germ. I heard the doctor said to papa that you won't last that long. You're like a germ and you're hurting Omi and papa here."** I pointed to my heart. Tears came streaming down her face as she heard those words, so did mine.

 **"Oh my~ Omi! I'm so sorry! Mama didn't want to leave you so soon! If I go soon please don't cry and instead look at the sky and say 'Mom, I'm okay', alright?"** She hugged me and we hugged each other as we cried our hearts out.

**~~~**

A month later, my mom is still confined to the hospital but, I heard the doctor say that she's getting better that's why I bought a cake on my way to celebrate. I used my hard earned money to buy this.

When I got there I saw people running towards my mother's ward. They we're all shouting **"Code blue! Code blue!"**

I saw my mom's bed being carried away to the emergency room while a doctor was on top her giving her CPR. I dropped the cake on my little hands. **"Mama!"** I shouted.

I waited and waited outside the emergency room, until my dad came and he was panicking. He's trying his best to stay strong in front of me but, eventually failing to do so.

After a few minutes a doctor came out. He goes straight towards my dad and shook his head. **"I'm sorry sir."** He bowed his head as he removed his cap.

My dad lost it. He got down on his knees and hugged me. I let go from his embrace and ran towards the doctor. I punched his leg. **"I heard you say my mama's getting better! Did you really do your best?!"** I shouted. The doctor got down on one knee.

 **"I'm sorry, young boy but we did our best."** He said.

 **"No! How are you so sure!? Did you really try everything!? Like everything!? Cause' if you did why isn't she here!? Why isn't my mama here!?!"** I shouted as tears came streaming down my face as I tugged the doctor's collar.

 **"Omi!"** My dad reached out for me. **"Stop. Mama's gone. She'll be sad to see you like this."** he said.

 **"Papa! Why are you like this aren't you upset?! Mama's gone because they couldn't do anything! They're useless papa!"** I cried.

 **"Omi! Stop it already!"** My dad shouted. My eyes grew. _'No! This can't be it! I can't accept this.'_ I thought. I ran away from Papa. I ran away from the doctors. I ran away trying to forget what just happened. I sat on a bench under a Sakura tree.

 **"This is just a dream...."** I thought. A young girl sad beside me.

 **"This is not a dream. This is reality. I wish I could give my life to whoever made you like this just to see you happy."** She said as she looked at the sky. I looked at the band on her wrist where her name is written. _'(y/n).. I wish you could give her your life.'_ I thought.

~~~

At the day of her funeral. I stayed at her grave. I lay down next to her while I stared at the clear sky. **"Mama, I really hate germs now. You've become a germ. Maybe you were one from the start."** I said. **"I'll never let any germ near me again."**

**Flashback End**

**(y/n)'s P.O.V.**

**"Ever since then, he became a** **germophobe** **."** He said. I wiped the tears streaming down my face. I never knew he undergone such pain. **"He hated people around him who gets sick. He hated germs. He calls everyone a germ. I can't blame him though. I can't tell him to stop. Maybe it's his way of protecting himself."**

 **"How about you Mr. Clown? I mean Mr. Sakusa. When did he started acting this way towards you?"** I asked.

**NOTE: When you call elderly in Japan. You use their last name to show respect.**

**"It's when he found out my illness."** He sighed. **" Ever since his mom passed away, I drove away my sadness through overworking. Eventually, the consequences of my actions came and this is it. He thinks that everything's happening all over again. He can't take it."** He added.

 **"I didn't know this was the reason to his phobia."** I said. The old man cupped my hands.

 **"Please take care of him. I'll make sure get better but, until then can you please take care of my son? I know this is too much for me to ask."** He begged.

 **"I'll promise to try and take care of your son!"** I pledged. He took out a jar of Umeboshi (pickled plums).

 **"Please give this to him. I bought this a while ago in case he visits. It's his favorite."** I cupped the old man's hand and assured him.

 _'I will pay my debt by making that boy happy! I swear to the name of Kami-sama!'_ I pledged in my thoughts. I walked out of the hospital.

 **"Sorry Sakusa, I'll pay the debt twice this time."** I whispered.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**

**NOTE: Everything that has happened here didn't happen in the manga. This is just a fanfiction. I** **REAPEAT** **THIS IS JUST A FANFICTION.**


	6. "Annoying Germ"

I got home pretty late because I had to stay for a while in the hospital and accompany Mr. Sakusa. He's a good father. All our conversations shows how much he cares for Sakusa.

I rolled on my bed contemplating how am I supposed to do as I promised. _'Take care of his son. How am I supposed to do that?'_ I thought. I ran to my mom down stairs who's preparing food. **"Hey mom! Are you taking care of me?"** I asked.

 **"What's with that question, sweetheart? Of course I am."** She replied.

 **"How do you take care of someone?"** I asked again.

 **"Well, you make sure they're fine like, they're eating properly and making sure they're mentally healthy."** She explained.

 **"Mentally healthy?"** I asked again. My mom stopped chopping and looked at me.

 **"You make sure they still can give the most sincere and beautiful smile and laugh they have. It's important. You see, smiling helps reduce stress, pain and blood pressure. It's good for the health.** " She smiled as I took note of everything she just said.

 **"Oh thanks mom!"** I said. I ran to my room and make a plan on how to fulfill my promise to Sakusa's dad. I took my notebook out. _'Hmm, let's see'_ I thought. _'Make sure they eat properly. Okay! This will be my first step for now!'_

 **"Operation take care of** **Saku** **-chan, start!!"** I shouted. 

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

I woke up from a loud noise. It's not my alarm, it's a sound coming from a annoying germ. I look at my window and there she is waving at me. It's still dark and she's already being a pain in the ass germ again. I took my sweater and mask then, head out to open the door. **"What the f*** **ck** **do you want from me? It's f*** **cking** **5:30 in the morning!"** I said, annoyed.

 **"I'm here to feed you!"** She drag herself inside my house. **"** **Ojamashimasu** **"** she shouted. I massaged my forehead trying not to get annoyed by this germ early in the morning.

_**NOTE:** _ _**Ojamashimasu** _ _**means "I will disturb you" or "I will get in your way." It is used as a polite greeting when entering someone's house.** _

**"Oi, germ! I didn't let you in."** She didn't even pay attention to what I said. Instead she asked me.

 **"Where's the kitchen** **Saku** **-chan?"** She asked, grinning at my annoyed face. _'That's it! I'm kicking you out. I will not let anyone make a mess in my house.'_ I thought. I took my mop and used it to push her out of the house. _'I will not touch this germ! Never!'_ I thought.

 **"Wait!** **Saku** **-chan! I'm just going to cook food for you! You should always eat!"** She shouted as pushed her out using my mop.

 **"I can cook for myself! Go away germ!"** I shouted back as I closed my door. _'What the h*_ _ck_ _is her problem?'_ I thought before taking back my disturbed sleep but, I stumbled upon a bag of goods.

I looked at the goods and saw some pancake recipe, syrup and some eggs that's been cracked because of what I did. _'She brought this to cook for me?'_ I thought. _'I bet she doesn't even know to cook this. I mean what can a girl who grew up in the hospital do?'_ I added. 

**(Y/N)'s P.O.V.**

_'He kicked me out! After I stayed up trying to perfect how to make pancakes.'_ I ranted in my head. 

**FLASHBACK (Yesterday night)**

I opened my YouTube and watched how people make pancakes. I bought some pancake recipe. My mom offered her help but, I declined. I want to learn this myself. I want this to be extra special that's why.

I took the box and read the instructions. followed as instructed but my cooking skills are the problem.

On my first try I burned the pancake. On my second try I tore the pancake as I tried to flip it. On my third I flipped the pan way too high causing it to fly to the other side. I was so frustrated.

On the other hand, my dad and mom are watching my frustrating acts. They ate the failed pancakes I cooked.

 **"Are sure you're not going to help her, honey?"** I heard my dad whispered.

 **"No, I offered help a while ago but, she insisted that she wants to do this on her own. She said learning this by herself will make it extra special."** My mom replied.

I continued practicing until I got the hang of it. I took my sleep 1:30 in the morning and woke up 5 in the morning to find Saku-chan's house. I even got lost.

**Scenario 1:**

**"Where in this street is Sakusa's family house?"** I asked myself. I walked and looked at every houses when I saw a dog that's barking at me. _'Oh! A dog it's my first time encountering one since I got out of the hospital'_ I thought.

 **"Here doggie~ Doggie~ Who's a good dog?"** I said excitedly. I was hoping the dog would let me pet him but he ran after me instead. I even tripped myself. I'm lucky the dog didn't ran after me that far.

**Scenario 2:**

I found the house of the Sakusa's but it was on the other street. I thought Liliana just made a mistake in the address she gave me.

I shouted at their gate. **"Saku-chan! Oi germophobe guy! Open the door!"** I kept. shouting until a middle aged man came.

 **"What's your problem young girl? It's early in the morning! What's all this shouting about? There's no Saku-chan living here."** The middle aged man said.

I bowed my head a few times saying **"Gomenasai!"** repeatedly. 

_**NOTE: Gomenasai means sorry in japanese.** _

**FLASHBACK END**

**"Hmp! I won't give up Saku-chan! Just you wait!"** I shouted but, instead of a reply from him, I heard a neighbor's reply.

 **"It's so early in the morning young girl! Please keep it down!"** The man shouted. I patted my mouth. _'Such a loud mouth.'_ I thought.

I walked home and asked my mom to prepare two (2) bento. _'I will never back down Saku-chan! Watch me!_ ' I thought to myself.

_**NOTE: Bento means a japanese styled lunch.** _

**Sakusa's P.O.V.**

The bell rang and I was about to go the cafeteria with Komori when a annoying germ came shouting at door of our classroom. **"Saku-chan!! Let's have lunch together! My mom made you a bento!"** she shouted.

I massaged my forehead. She woke me up first thing in the morning now, she's barging in my classroom for lunch.

 **"Oh! A new fan of yours Omi?"** Komori teased.

 **"Whatever! C'mon let's go! Don't mind that annoying germ!"** I said turning my back at her and walking towards the other exit.

 **"Oi! I said let's have lunch Saku-chan!"** She shouted again. Holding up a bento in her hands.

 **"Oh! 'Saku-chan' that's new!"** Komori teased. I glared at him and he just gave me a hands up.

I glared at her. **"What's your problem huh? Germ!"**

 **"Have lunch okay?"** She smiled with such innocence. It felt so bright like the sun. She left the bento on the table in front of me. **"I know you're not comfortable with us eating together but, here! Take it and eat it with your friend."** She said leaving the classroom skipping.

I facepalm. **"Idiot."** I whispered. I took the bento and left with Komori. We ate at the table in the cafeteria.

I was still contemplating if I should eat the bento she's gave me when I felt a gaze. It was her. She's at the right corner in front of me. She's eating lunch with Liliana and she's gesturing me to eat. I rolled my eyes and opened the bento. I saw a cute lettering using ketchup saying 'Eat well'.

 **"Looks like you have one hyper fan this time, Omi"** Komori teased.

 **"She's the girl in the hospital when I was young."** I replied.

 **"Oh ho! Must be fate!"** He teased more.

 **"Shut up! Just eat your lunch."** I said as I ate the bento she gave me. It taste good. As I was eating she passed by my side with Liliana. She placed a bottle of water on my table.

 **"Drink it."** She said and left.

 **"Aww, that's sweet!"** Komori teased. **"I'd love to have someone like that in my life."** He added. I just glared at him. _'Annoying germ! Why are you doing this?'_ I thought.

**~~~**

The classes were over. Me and Komori head straight to the gym for volleyball practice. I saw a girl bothering our coach. Guess what? It's her again.

 **"Please Coach! Lets me the ball girl!"** She begged. **"You'll never regret this"** She added.

We walked passed by her. As if we didn't see her.

 **"Hey, Saku-chan! Hey Saku-chan's friend!"** She greeted.

 **"Hey!"** Komori greeted back. I didn't even bat an eye on her. I just went straight inside. Our coach closed the gym doors and sighed.

 **"That's one tough fan of yours Sakusa."** He said. I just rolled my eyes and started practice.

 **"Don't mind her coach! She's just a germ."** I assured my coach and also myself. _'Yeah, she's just a germ.'_ I thought.

 **"Good luck Saku-chan! I'll be waiting for you outside! Do your best!"** She shouted. Everyone at the team are looking at me. I just rolled my eyes and warmed up.

**(Y/N)'S P.OV.**

_'I didn't expect that taking care of someone will be this hard.'_ I thought. I sat under a tree in front of the volleyball gym. I saw Liliana waking toward me.

 **"Hey!"** She greeted. I greeted back and she sat beside me. **"So, you've finally realized your feelings huh?"** She asked.

 **"Nope! I don't think I like him. I think I just wanna see him happy."** I replied.

 **"Then, that means you love him because you care for him."** She said. **"You even brought him lunch and water."** She added.

I looked up the sky. It orange, a sign that the sun will set soon. _'Do I really like him?'_ I asked myself. I touched my chest to feel my beating heart and closed my eyes. **"Maybe..."** I whispered as I felt my drowsiness take over me.

**Sakusa's P.O.V.**

After practice is over, I changed my clothes and pack my stuffs. I was about to head home with Komori when I saw her sitting under a tree asleep. 

**"Omi?"** Komori asked.

 **"Oh yeah? Sorry, go on ahead. I need to do something."** I said waving my hand as I excuse myself. Komori left and I walked towards the germ sound asleep under a tree.I kneeled down. I saw bruises on her hand and knees. _'Stupid germ! You didn't have to do that'_ I thought.

The wind blow and her skirt was flew up. I saw her undies. My eyes widens at the sight. It's pink. She pulled her skirt down. **"Hey Sakusa! You pervert!!"** She said laughing. I turned to the other side to hide my embarrassed face although it's covered with a mask.

 **"Why are you laughing, germ?"** I asked. **"It was an accident. I was about to wake you up when the wind flew your skirt up."** I defended.

 **"It's okay!"** She said as she stood up patting her skirt. **" I trust you Saku-chan. I know you're not a bad person and you're just protecting yourself."** She smiled. My eyes grew. _'Ah, there's that bright and light feeling again.'_ I thought. **"Come on! I'll walk you home!"** She added.

I walked with her. She's in front of me. We're just one meter apart but I feel that she's way too far. _'She's so bright like the sun.'_ I thought. _'People who comes near her will eventually melt and burn'_ I added as I sighed.

We arrived at my house and she bid me goodbye. **"Bye Saku-chan! See you tommorow! Don't kick me out next time okay?"** She laughed and waved as she turned her back.

 **"Yeah, I can never let myself near her. She's way too bright, it's scary..."** I whispered as I enter inside the house.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	7. "Can I take the risk?"

I'm here in front of Saku-chan's house. **"** **Saku** **-chan!"** I shouted. He opened the door and sprayed me disinfectant before letting me come inside. I cough as I walked inside. **"Wow, your house is clean!"** I complimented as I looked around.

 **"Of course, you're the only germ that has ever stepped in here."** He replied. I just laughed. 'He hates germ so much' I thought. **"So, care to explain yourself?"** He asked.

 **"Explain what?"** I asked.

 **"What's the reason you keep sticking around? I saw you begging coach to be the ball girl. You keep coming here early in the morning insisting to cook for me."** He explained as he took the apron from the kitchen and throw me one.

 **"Ah, that.."** I scratched my head. **"It's a secret"** I smiled catching the apron and wear it to myself. _'I can't let him know my promise to his father he'll definitely be furious.'_ I thought.

 **"What's in the paper bag?"** He pointed the paper bag that I brought on my way here.

 **"That's** **Umeboshi** **! I heard from someone that you like those so, I brought some!"** I took the jar of Umeboshi and placed it on the table. **"Have a taste."** I took a piece of umeboshi and tried to feed him.

He rolled his eyes. **"I can eat by myself."** He took one and have a bite. His eyes smiled. _'I think I'm making him mentally healthy, mom!'_ I said in my head proudly. I did the same and it taste sour. I can't help but show my sour face.

 **"You look ugly exactly like a germ!"** He teased. I just glared at him and turned to the kitchen.

 **"Can you even cook?"** He asked.

 **"Maybe!"** I giggled.

 **"Move."** He took my place. **"I'll teach you but, you need to take responsibilities for your actions. From now on you're suppose to be here by exactly 5:30. If you fail to do so, I'll shut my door, okay?"** I nodded in response. _'_ _Oho_ _! He's one strict client, okay!'_ I thought trying to hold back my laugh.

He taught me how to make omurice. He was a really good teacher. He's very clear in his words but, one thing I like the most is how he gets it done. I can't even focus on what he's teaching me. I was staring at him the whole time. He looks so alone doing this kinds of stuffs.

 **"What are you looking at huh? Liking what you see?"** He raised me a brow. **"Enjoy it while you can cause you'll be doing all this tomorrow. Now, prepare the plates let's have breakfast."**

 **"Okay!"** I just smiled as I took the plates from the cabinet. I took a seat right in front of him. He glared at me. **"What?"** I asked.

 **"Go eat at the other corner of the table. I don't eat in front of germs."** He commanded. I rolled my eyes and do as I'm told.

We walked to school right after. I was humming my current favorite song while walking when he asked.

**"What are you singing?"**

**"Oh, It's Nothing."** I turned and smiled at him.

 **"What do you mean nothing? I'm asking you for the title stupid!"** He rolled his eyes.

 **"You know what you can also be stupid at times, it's funny."** I laughed. **"It's Nothing by Bruno Major."**

 **"Tch"** I heard him and I just looked up the sky.

 **"Do you miss them?"** I asked.

 **"Who?"** He asked confused.

 **"Your mom and your dad."** I answered. **"My mom said when you look up the sky and you're thinking of someone. It means you're missing them and that feels lonely. Whenever I take a glimpse of you, I can see you looking up the sky so, do you miss them?"** I added

 **"Maybe..."** He whispered as he looks up the sky. I stopped from walking and turned to him. He just raised me a brow.

 **"I know you're sad and lonely so don't worry much, okay? I'll be here!"** I shouted proudly. People passing by we're looking at me.

 **"Whatever. Weirdo."** He said as he continued walking. I walked next to him and he just pushed me with a pen as always

 **"I have an idea. Wait!"** I shouted. I took a piece of paper and a pen from my bag and wrote a list. I handed him the list. **"All of this are on the lyrics of Nothing so when we finish this you'll sing me that song, okay?"**

 **"Bold of you to assume that I'll agree to this."** He rolled his eyes.

 **"C'mon please! You won't be lonely this way."** I begged he just continued walking but I saw his eyes smiling. _'He's happy._ ' I thought.

**THE LIST:**

**•Track suits and red wine**

**•Movies for two**

**•Play Nintendo**

**•On boat in the rain**

After the classes I ran straight to the gym to beg the volleyball coach again. **"I'm sorry Liliana! I won't walk with you today, again!"** I shouted.

I arrive at the gym and the players are all staring at me for barging in. Sakusa was glaring at me. **"Coach!"** I bowed. **"Please take me in as your ball girl please! Pretty please!"** I pouted.

 **"Why should I take a fragile girl like you?"** He asked.

 **"This is actually a secret but, okay..."** I looked at Sakusa for a second then smirked. **"Can I whisper it you, coach? I'm really shy about this."** I pointed to the volleyball players who's listening attentively to our conversation.

 **"Okay."** He bend down and was shocked to what I whispered. **"Okay. I'll let you be the ball girl. Do your job right okay?"** I jumped out of joy. I turned to Sakusa and winked. He massaged his forehead. He's indirectly saying _'What the f*_ _ck_ _did this idiot do this time?'._

I spent the whole club time catching and fetching balls going around. When their break time has come, I gave each and everyone of them their towel and water.

 **"Oi! Germ what did you whisper to coach?"** He annoyingly asked.

 **"Secret."** I winked as I handed him his water.

 **"Yo (y/n)-chan!"** A guy who's always with Sakusa greeted. I gave him his towel and water.

 **"Yo** **Saku** **-chan's friend!"** I greeted back.

 **"Call me** **Komori** **."** He offered his hand for a hand shake. I was about to take it when, Sakusa threw his towel at Komori.

 **"Don't touch her,** **Komori** **. She's filthy."** Sakusa teased and Komori laughed.

After the practice the three of us walked together. When we arrived at Sakusa's house I bid them goodbye.

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

**"You're one lucky guy, Omi."** Komori teased. **"I never had anyone care for me like that."** He added.

 **"Take her then, she's annoying. She goes to my place to wake me up first thing in the morning. Then, she'll annoy me to eat the bento she's giving. After that I'll see her every volleyball practice. She's one persistent germ. She even insist that she'll walk me home everyday."** I ranted. Komori laughed.

 **"I've never seen you so pissed like that but, the real question is, 'Are you really pissed or you're just denying to yourself that you're liking what she's doing?'"** Komori teased. _'Do I like what she's doing?'_ I thought as I felt myself smiling. _'What the f*_ _ck_ _, Sakusa. Don't smile without a reason.'_ I put a frown on my face.

 **"You're not smiling without a reason actually, I bet she's the reason."** Komori said as he waved goodbye. _'How did he know?'_ I thought.

 **"It's written all over your face Omi!"** He shouted again. _'I need to stop this stupidity.'_ I thought as I ran towards the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was red.

 **"This is all her fault. I think I got contaminated by her germs. I need to wash myself thoroughly."** I shouted.

The next day, I woke up early to open the door for her. I wore a face mask, face shield, gloves and jacket. I was keeping a 1 meter between us.

 **"What are you doing? What's with the outfit?"** She asked while laughing at my protective garments.

I sprayed her Lysol. **"Don't come near me! I think you've contaminated me enough with your germs!"** I shouted. She just laughed at me.

 **"Weirdo."** She giggled. She goes straight to the kitchen to cook some food as I keep a 1 meter distance between us whenever she comes near.

I spent the whole day avoiding her touch or coming near her. When the volleyball practice came, she was there. Whenever she'll pass me my water bottle and towel I make Komori get it for me.

 **"What's with him today?"** She asked Komori.

 **"Oh, that?"** Komori laughed before continuing. **"I saw him smiling yesterday when we're talking about you. Now, he thinks you've contaminated him with your germs."** Both of them laughed.

 **"Oh so you smiled because of me huh?** **Saku** **-chan..."** She gave a shocked face. My brows met. 'I think I know what she's going to say'. I thought. **"Do you perhaps like me? Oh my! Oh my! What should I do** **Komori** **? Should I answer his feelings?"** She teased as Komori laughed.

 **"Stop being delusional! You germ!"** Everyone in the volleyball team we're teasing me. _' It's their fault. '_ I thought.

Things we're pretty much the same for a week. She comes here exactly 5:30 in the morning and cooks me food. We walked to school and back home together. Until, I woke up one day she was late. It's already 6 in the morning and she's still not here yet. _'Where are you germ?'_ I thought.

I was about to give up waiting for her and prepare my own breakfast when I heard a knock on the door. _'Finally, she's here but, she don't usually knock. She used to always use her annoying loud voice to make me open the door.'_ I thought.

I opened the door only to see Liliana standing there with some food in hand. **"Hey.."** She greeted.

 **"What are you doing here?"** I asked, annoyed.

 **"(y/n) called me here to take her place. She said she caught cold so I should cook you breakfast."** She answered.

 **"Forget it! I can cook my own food."** I was about to shut the door but she stopped it by holding the knob.

 **"Wait, Can we please talk? Do you really hate me this much Omi?"** I just raised her a brow. I can see her eyes starting to water. **"I still like you do you know that?"** She added.

 **"Enough Liliana and get lost!"** I shouted.

 **"No! You can't just tell me to get lost. I like you. I really do. I'm always checking on you. I'm always making sure your father is safe in the hospital. I sometimes visit him for your sake. Why can't you just give me a chance?"** She said as tears came streaming down her face.

 **"No one asked you to do that, Liliana. It's not like we're dating. We used to be close but, you turned out to be more pitiful that I thought."** I blurted.

 **"Pitiful? Yeah, I'm pitiful. I really am. I keep going out of my way just to make the guy I like to look at me! I am pitiful but, you know what hurts? It's when I'm this pitiful already but, you won't even bat me an eye."** She blurted. Tears came streaming down her face. Her nose turned red as the cold wind breeze blows her hair.

 **"Are you done? You're wasting my time."** I was about to close the door again when she blurted something that caught my attention.

 **"You like her don't you?"** She laughed. **"Yeah, right. Why am I even asking?"** She placed the food down in front of the door and took a step back.

 **"You can't make the sun shine just for you if you won't take the risk. I took my chance already. Now, take yours."** She said before she took her leave.

 _'You can't make the sun shine just for you if you won't take the risk, huh?'_ I thought. I took the food she brought inside and stared at the ceiling. **"Can I even make the sun shine just for me even if I take the risk?"** I questioned as I gave out a sigh.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	8. "I'm not your friend."

**Komori** **P.O.V.**

I'm walking towards Omi's house. (Y/N) asked me a favor yesterday to help Omi prepare for school. I came at the perfect timing Liliana just arrived and was knocking at the door. The door opened and Omi just gave a cold shoulder to Liliana.

 **"What are you doing here?"** Omi asked, annoyed.

 **"(y/n) called me here to take her place. She said she caught cold so I should cook you breakfast."** She answered. 'What's with this cold atmosphere?' I thought.

 **"Forget it! I can cook my own food."** Omi answered back. I hid myself behind the wall near the gate. I heard everything. It was a painful scene.

After a few seconds of silence. I heard footsteps coming from Liliana. Tears were streaming down her face. She saw me and her eyes grew. She wiped her tears and ran to the other direction.

 **"Liliana wait!"** I shouted. I ran after her until she stopped by the park.

 **"Why are you following me?! Are you having fun seeing me being pitiful. Well, guess what? I don't need your pity."** She shouted as she was trying so hard to hold back the tears.

 **"Why did you do that?"** I asked.

 **"Did what?"** She asked back.

 **"What you did there, it's not a confession. You're making him realize his feelings. Your giving him a push."** I shouted. The wind blew her hair. I saw her eyes grew as I saw the tears streamed down her face. _'She's pretty even though she's crying'_ I thought.

 **"I-I can't win a match when there's already a winner."** She said as she wiped her tears. **"I'm the concrete to his plant. It will never grow because the plant longs for the soil and the concrete is not what he needs."**

I walked towards her. She took a step back. **"Don't move."** I commanded. I pulled her close to me. I held her in my arms. **"Cry your heart out. I'll be here. I'll protect you."** I said. She cried her heart out.

 **"Why are you doing this?"** She asked hugging me tight. I looked up the sky. _'Because I like you but, I can't tell you that now. I'll wait till your heart heals.'_ I thought.

 **"It's because I hate to see girls crying"** I replied.

After she calmed down, we parted ways and walked on our own to school. I still need to pick up Omi so I walked towards his house.

 _'Right on time.'_ I thought as I saw him walking outside his house. **"Omi!"** I shouted and waved. He waited for me in front of his gate.

 **"Did that germ also asked you to walk me to school?"** He asked raising me a brow.

 **"Yeah, she cares about you a lot. I saw Liliana a while ago."** I turned to look at his expression. There's nothing. **"You didn't have to be so harsh on her."**

 **"What's the point on keeping other people's hopes up? It'll end up hurting them more if you don't cut it on the first try."** He said. Well, I can't blame him. He, himself experienced it and he has a point.

While walking I asked him about his feelings for (y/n). **"Hey, you like her don't you?"**

 **"Well, she's annoying, clumsy and stupid but, something about her makes me feel comfortable."** He answered.

 **"Like back then when you used to like Liliana?"** I asked.

 **"No, it's much greater. I liked Liliana before for being so graceful and clean. I thought that's the only kind of girl that I can bare to be with."** He said.

 **"So why didn't you choose her?"** I asked.

 **"It's because she and (y/n) we're different. Whenever I'm mad, Liliana will get scared but, (y/n)?"** He smiled before continuing. **"She saw my pain and took the risk to save me from drowning. I bet even if I was in flames she'll risk her self to save me. She's too bright it's actually scary."** He looked up the sky and smiled.

 _'Sakusa? Smiling?'_ I thought. _'You're one extraordinary girl (y/n). You're the only girl who can make Omi like this.'_ I added. **"So did you kiss her already?"** His ears turned red. **"** **Hoho** **! So you did?"** I teased.

 **"Shut up! It wasn't a kiss. Her lips just touched against mine indirectly through my mask."** He justified.

 **"I bet you sprayed her disinfectant right after!"** I laughed. **"Poor (y/n)!"** I added

 **"I didn't."** I turned to him. I was shock. _'Am I hearing this right? The great_ _germophobe_ _didn't even flinch?'_ I thought. **"I liked it."** he added. I was shocked. I can't believe it.

**~~~**

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

After volleyball practice, I walked home and passed by a drug store. _'Yeah, she's sick so? Why do you want to buy her medicine?'_ I thought to myself as I walked inside the drug store and buyed some medicine for cold.

I walked to her home. I was still contemplating whether I should do this or not but, I remembered what Liliana told me earlier, _'You can't make the sun shine just for you if you won't take the risk.'_ That thought keeps bothering me.

I knocked on her door and a man showed up. I think that's her father. I bring down my mask up to my chin so, I wouldn't look so disrespectful. **"Hello! I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi. I'm a friend of (y/n)."** I introduced.

He glared at me. **"A boy!? Hmm...."** He gestured me to come inside but his face speaks the other. As I sit on the couch he started asking questions.

 **"What's your relationship with my daughter? Do you like her? She's pretty isn't she? She's—"** He keeps on asking questions when a woman came out of the kitchen with some biscuits in hand. I think she's her mother.

 **"Ara ara honey~ Please don't scare the guest that much. You must be her friend, right? Sakusa-chan?"** Her mother asked.

 **"Yes, ma'am. Where's (y/n)? I just came by to give her these medicines."** I answered.

 **"Don't call me ' ma'am ' Sakusa-chan. Call me ' mama ' "** Her mother winked at me before placing the plate of biscuits in front of me. Her dad glared at me when he heard his wife telling me to call her _"mama"_. It's like he's indirectly threatening me saying _'Do that and you'll never see the next sunlight again'_

 **"She's out for a second, I think she'll be back soon."** Her mother added as she sat down on the other couch. **"So, how's my daughter at school? You can be honest with me Sakusa-chan. I know she can be quite a handful."**

 _'Should I tell them?'_ I thought. My inner angel tells me that I should, since honesty is the best policy. **"She's a really annoying person..."**

 **"You rascal—"** Her dad grunts but her mother stopped him. 'Now, I know why her name is called 'Daddy's little girl' on the rent a boyfriend app.' I thought.

 **"Let him finish honey."** He mother said.

 **"She's annoying but, she's actually a warm and caring person. She's the type of person who'll risk everything just to make you smile. Although, she comes up with stupid ideas sometimes."** I felt my face smile on it's own.

 **"You like her don't you?"** Her mother teased. **"Just kidding! I'll let you guys discover that on your own."** Her mom added. We talked for a little bit more when we heard the door open. **"Hey honey you're back."**

Her eyes widens as she saw me sitting on the couch with her parents. **"** **Saku** **-chan?"** She blinked her eyes checking if she's dreaming. **"What are you doing here?"** She glared at her parents trying to check if they did something to me.

 **"I'm just going to drop this medicine for you but, I was invited inside by your parents."** I said. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside.

 **"Mom! Dad! We'll talk later. I'll be back."** she shouted.

We walked towards the park. She's still pulling my wrist. And when we stopped she was shocked to see her holding my wrist like I was a normal person.

 **"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."** She bowed several times.

 **"Stop."** I said. **"I'll just take a bath later."** We sat on a swing and started talking.

 **"So did Liliana and** **Komori** **helped you today?"** She asked.

 **"Yeah... You don't have to do that though."** I said.

 **"I have to. I promised someone that I'll take care of you."** She said as she looked down on the ground playing the sand with her feet.

 **"Take care of me?"** I said. **"You're being delusional again. You really is sick. I can take care of myself with or without you."**

 **"Yeah, right."** She giggled. **"You always say that but, deep down you always wanted someone to take care of you isn't that right?"**

Her words it's so accurate. She always see right through me. No matter how thick the wall I build she's pierces through effortlessly.

 **"Ain't I right?"** She asked again.

 **"You're not wrong but, you're not right either. Here! Get well soon"** I handed her the medicine. I pulled my mask back up. **"Meet me here on the weekend let's do whatever it is on your list."** I said before I left without even looking back to her reaction.

**(Y/N)' P.O.V.**

I arrived 5 minutes early at our meeting place. I was planning on inviting him to try boating with me in Lake Kawaguchiko.

A few minutes later he arrived. He's wearing jacket, gloves and of course his face mask but, this time it's the face mask I gave him.

 **"Ohh! You're actually wearing it? It looks so cute on you specially with the germ patch on the side."** I teased. He just rolled his eyes.

 **"What shall we do first on the list?"** He asked.

 **"Let's go boating!!! Lake** **Kawaguchiko** **here I come!!"** I said as I ran towards the train station with him following me from behind.

After a several minutes we arrived at our destination. It was so pretty. There's a lot of Sakura trees around the lake.

I ran towards the are where they're giving boat rides. **"Shall we?"** I turned to my back but, Sakusa wasn't there. **"Saku-chan?"** I shouted. I walked back to the places I walked through.

There he is walking slowly trying not to bump into anyone. I laughed at the sight. _'He looks like a baby.'_ I thought. I knew this would happen so I took a long piece of blanket inside my bag and cover him with it. He looks like a kid cosplaying a ghost.

 **"What are you doing, germ?"** He asked, annoyed.

 **"I'm keeping the baby away from germs."** I giggled. I removed the ribbon tied to my hair and gave him the other end. **"Hold it!"** I commanded.

Once, he took the end of the ribbon I started shouting repeatedly. **"Give way! Passing through!"** I was laughing the whole time. It was like I was pulling a ghost.

We arrived at the destination and pulled the blanket back to my bag. To my surprise he was laughing too. His mask is placed under his chin. I can see his whole face. _'He's laughing.'_ I thought as I smiled at the look on his face. _'You look handsome when you're like that.'_ I added.

 **"That was hilarious (y/n)!"** He said. **"I never thought you could pull off something so stupid yet, satisfying."** He added. My eyes widens as I hear him call my name for the first time.

 **"You!"** I shouted and pointed at him. **"You called my name!! You called me using my name for the first time!!!"** I was jumping out of shock and happiness.

 **"Oh sorry! My bad. I meant germ."** He said although I can still see the smile on his face as he walked towards the boat. **"Shall we?"** He asked.

We walked inside the boat and I was looking at the scenery with awe. **"This could've have been nice if only it was raining."** I whispered.

 **"Idiot, we can't go boating if it's raining."** He teased.

 **"But, it says on the song. Boat in the rain."** I pouted.

 **"It'll rain soon. Just you wait."** He said. The wind blew and the sakura leaves came down falling. **"See, it's not rain like water and stuff but, it's much better. It's raining sakura"** he said.

 **"It's so pretty..."** I whispered.

 **"Yeah, it's so pretty..."** I heard him whisper. I turned to check his expression and to my surprise he's looking at me. _'Did he just say those words while looking at me? Does that mean that he was pertaining the word 'pretty' to me?'_ I thought as I felt my cheeks getting hot. I turned around and looked at the scenery a bit more.

After the boat ride, I turned to him. **"You liked it? It's nice right? I told you, you won't ever feel lonely again. I'm here."** I boasted. He just rolled his eyes.

 **"Whatever."** He said.

I offered him my hand and he just stared at it. **"What's that?"** He asked.

 **"I'm officially announcing that we're friends from now on."** I smiled him.

 **"I'm not your friend."** He said as he looked straight into my eyes. I felt a chill down to my spine. 

**"Stop being bitter! We've been bonding for the last few months. Now let me be your friend already."** I protested.

 **"No. I don't make friends with a stupid, clumsy and annoying germ like you."** He said as his face showed a sincere smile. A smile I never knew I'll be able to see. **"I date them."** He said.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	9. "Someone's Jelly"

**"No. I don't make friends with a stupid, clumsy and annoying germ like you."** He said as his face turned to a sincere smile. A smile I never knew I'll be able to see. **" I date them."** He said.

My face turned red as I heard those words coming from his mouth. _'Am I dreaming?'_ I thought. I pinched myself. I heard him laugh. _'I really am dreaming! He's laughing the great_ _germophobe_ _is laughing!! Kami-sama wake me up now before I get attached to this dream'_ I begged the gods.

 **"Idiot. You think this is a dream?"** He gave a soft laugh. **"Either way, dream or not you only have one option. Yes or yes?"** He proposed.

My eyes began to water. ' _Am I really allowed to do this? Kami-sama just this once, let me be selfish. Let me be happy just this once.'_ I begged in my thoughts. I nodded as a response.

 **"I said is it a yes or yes? I'm not asking for a nod."** He teased. **"Let me hear you say it."** He added.

 **"Yes! Let's date."** I said as tears came streaming down my face. I don't know what to feel. I feel happy and sad at the same time.

 **"Why are you crying? Are you that happy?"** He teased as he handed me a tissue. I wiped my tears.

 **"No! I just caught some dirt on my eyes! "** I laughed. We walked home right after because he felt uncomfortable in crowdy places. We reached his house after a few minutes.

 **"I'll walk you home."** He suggested.

 **"No, you're tired. Just take a rest."** I smiled **"You've been trying to avoid bumping into people all this time. You looked like a baby."** I teased.

 **"No. I'm not a baby, you are. You're my baby."** He said trying to hide his embarrassed face. I was shocked. I didn't know what to feel.

 **"Are you trying to flirt with me right now?"** I teased as I tried to contain my laughter.

 **"Shut up, germ! I take it back!"** He said as his brows meet. _'That was cringe yet it makes my heart flutter. I like it.'_ I thought

 **"Are you calling me germ now? I thought I'm your baby?"** I teased as I pouted.

 **"Shut up! I ain't calling you that again."** He said.

 **"But, you call everyone a germ? How am I supposed to know you really see me different compared to them."** I pouted. _'Oh! I caught you in my trap_ _Saku_ _-chan'_ I thought. _'You'll eventually call me baby!'_ I smirked as my thoughts calls for victory.

 **"No. You're different."** He gave out a sigh and looked up the sky. **"You're that 0.1% germ that no one can exterminate. You're that germ."** He added.

 **"** **Saku** **-chan you're talking disinfectant again?"** I teased.

 **"Idiot. What I'm trying to say is you're the only germ for me. You're my favorite germ so don't you dare feel that you're on par with the others."** He blurted.

 _'Ah, he's doing it again. Butterflies on my stomach and my fluttering heart. You're really are cruel_ _Saku_ _-chan'_ I thought. **"Okay fine. You win** **Saku** **-chan."** I surrendered.

 **"Why do you keep calling me '** **Saku** **-chan'?"** He asked.

 **"Well, people around you keep calling you 'Omi'. I don't want to call you the same as them. I want mine to be unique so you'll remember me more!" I** smiled at him. His face turned red. **"Oh did I make your heart flutter?"** I tilt my head as I teased him. **"It's a payback for making my heart flutter all this time."** I added.

 **"Shut up!"** We teased each other for a while before I bid my goodbye.

**"Bye** **Saku** **-chan! I'll see you tommorow."**

**~~~**

Ever since that day, we started eating together. Liliana on the other hand became more busy on her club duties. We always have Komori as our third wheel. People are even gossiping that I'm Komori's girlfriend which annoys Sakusa.

It's lunch time and I'm heading towards our usual table to meet Sakusa.

 **"Hey!"** I waved when I saw him.

 **"Ready to eat, germ?"** He asked as I gave him the bento. I, myself prepared.

 **"Where's** **Komori** **?"** I asked as look around the cafeteria.

 **"Is** **Komori** **your boyfriend now?"** He asked, annoyed.

 **"No—"** I turned to him. **"Are you perhaps jealous? Oh! the great Sakusa is jealous!"** I teased and he just rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bento from my hands and sprayed disinfectant before sitting. I sat in front of him.

He quietly ate his bento but, you can see the annoyance from his face. I just gave a soft laugh as I ate my bento. A few minutes later, Komori arrived and sat beside me.

 **"Hey guys—"** He was interrupted when Sakusa sprayed him disinfectant.

 **"You're dirty. Move."** He commanded. 'He really is jealous.' I laughed in my head.

 **"What the f*** **ck** **is wrong with you, Omi? You never do this to me before."** Komori asked as he wave his hand in front of his face, removing excess disinfectant.

 **"Oh! He's jealous that people think that we're the one dating."** I said, laughing.

 **"No. I'm not."** Sakusa protested as he glared at Komori but, Komori didn't even mind him and just laughed.

 **"It really looks like we're the one dating because you always keep your distance, Omi."** Komori teased.

 **"What should I do huh? You're such a filthy man!"** Sakusa rolled his eyes.

 **"Well, for example you need to do this.."** Komori intertwined his hand onto mind and smiled. I was shocked and so is Sakusa. His eyes widen and his brows met.

He stood up from his seat and walked away. I turned to Komori and bowed. **"Sorry** **Komori** **, he's being a bit moody today."** I said and ran after Sakusa.

 **"Hey!"** I grabbed his hand. He repulsed his hand from my grasp. **"What's wrong with you?** " I asked.

 **"Don't touch me! You've been contaminated by** **Komori's** **germs."** He glared at me. I wanted to laugh so bad but, I know this wouldn't end well.

 **"Give me your disinfectant."** I commanded. He handed me his Lysol and I sprayed it all over me. **"There? Happy?** " He just rolled his eyes.

He walked back to his class. " **Wait for me later. I'll walk you home..."** I heard him murmur something but, I can't understand it.

I head to my classroom right after he left. I saw Liliana there sitting while looking out the window. I walked behind her and poked her. **"Hey!"** I greeted.

 **"Oh (y/n)! I haven't talked to you for a week. Sorry, I'm busy doing club duties."** She sighed and smiled right after.

 **"It's okay! I have** **Komori** **and** **Saku** **-chan accompany me during lunch so, I'm fine. How are you?"** I asked.

 **"I'm fine. Do I look unwell to you?"** She asked.

 **"Yeah, you seemed like you've starved yourself for a week."** I said.

 **"So, are you guys together now?"** She asked as she looks up the ceiling. **"Before he confessed his feelings for you, I confessed to him and I was rejected."** she added. I don't know what to say. _'Should I comfort her?_ ' I thought. I never had anyone open up to me before, this is all new to me.

There was silence between us. The bell rang and we sat on our own desks. The time flies so fast that classes are now over. I rushed to the gym and catches the balls that are falling from their spike practice.

When it's Sakusa's turn, I stopped and watched as he flies above the net smashing the ball to the ground. 'He's flying.' I thought. I was so drawn to him spiking the ball. I didn't saw the ball coming from the other side.

 ***BANG*** The ball hit my face causing me to fall down and hit my head. I sit up and scratched the back of my head.

 **"Are you okay?"** Komori asked as he stretched out his hand for help. I was about to grab his hand when Sakusa shouted.

 **"Hands off. My germ, my property."** Sakusa demanded. Komori quickly took his hand back.

Sakusa bended on one knee. **"Can you walk?"** He asked as I saw his worried face. _'He's so cute when he's like this.'_ I thought.

 **"Yeah."** I nodded. I stood up but, I felt a liquid running down my nose. I touched my nose to check. I'm having nosebleed. I turned to Sakusa, I know he hates thing like this. I showed him my palm. **"No, you don't have to force yourself to touch me. I'm fine."** I said.

 **"No... This won't do."** I heard him whisper. The next thing I know he gave me his jacket and carried me like his bride.

 **"H-hey! You don't have to do this."** I said as I struggled. _'He's not like this. He hates touching people but, why is he going out of his way for me? He might be uncomfortable. I need him to let me go.'_ I thought.

 **"Stop moving, you'll fall."** He commanded. **"I'm marking you mine. I'll make them know you're mine and I don't want other's germs on you."** He added. My heart started to race. _'So this is what it's like to have a boyfriend.'_ I thought. _'I like it. No, I love it'_ I added.

 **"Wait— What do you mean by marking me yours? Are you going to bite me?"** I said. He put me down on the bench and raised me a brow. He toppled my forehead with his fingers.

 **"You're reading too much romance books. By marking you mine, I mean this."** He brought out a disinfectant. **"Close your eyes and look to your left."**

I did as he told me and he sprayed me with disinfectant. _'I should've known this was coming.'_ I thought.

 **"You've been contaminated by other's germs too much missy. I'm cleansing you."** He said. _'So, he also know how to use words such as 'missy' not just germs, huh?'_ I thought as I gave out a feint smile on my face.

He gave me a tissue right after for my nosebleed. Everyone in the gym was in shock to what they saw. They didn't expect that someday the great germophobe will be willing to touch someone, especially a girl like me.

After their practice we walked home together. A few minutes later, I felt him moving closer and then, I felt his hands intertwined onto mine. **"What are you doing?"** I asked

 **"Komori said I need to do this to let other people you're mine."** He said as he tried to hide his embarrassed face. _'This is cute! I really like this feeling but, is he really comfortable doing this or he's just forcing himself?'_ I thought.

I turned to him and let go of his hand. **"Look at me Saku-chan."** I commanded. **"You don't have to force yourself to do what makes you uncomfortable. Letting other people know about our relationship isn't our priority. Let's just enjoy every moment as much as possible."** I added as smiled at him.

 **"Okay but, don't go contaminating yourself with other's germs."** He said as he intertwined his hand onto mine again. **"Let me enjoy this for a moment. I've never** **been** **so comfortable in touching somebody like this. I'll regret it if I don't savor the moment."** He said as he looked up the sky. _'I bet he's talking to his mother above. Telling her about us.'_ I thought.

 **"Tell your mom I said 'hi'. "** I said and smiled at him. He just nodded.

 **"Let's do everything on your list next weekend okay?"** He suggested. I love everything that has happened today, most especially him. I hope this never ends.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	10. "Promise?"

Weekend will start tomorrow and I'm so excited. We'll be playing Nintendo and watch some movies. I'll make sure to watch his reaction for every movie we'll watch.

Lunch came and I waited for him in the cafeteria. I sat on our usual spot. Later on, Komori sat beside me.

 **"Where's** **Saku** **-chan?"** I asked.

 **"Oh didn't you go to his house today?"** He asked. I shook my head as a response. **"He's absent. I think he's not feeling well."**

 **"I was late a while ago, that's why I didn't have time to stop by his place."** I explained.

 **"Oh! That's why he told me not to let you come in his place."** He said as he started eating his lunch. The whole lunch time I was silent. I don't know, I felt like a piece of me is missing. _'So this is what it's like to miss someone_ ' I thought.

Time went very slow for my gloomy day. I felt so drained and out of focus. All day, I was thinking about him. I never wanted anything so bad that time other than the time to move quickly so that, I could see him.

After the bell rang, I quickly ran towards and the gym and asked for a permission for absence. Coach agreed and I quickly ran towards his house.

 **"** **Saku** **-chan! I'm here open the door!"** I said in between pants. A minute passed before he opened the door. There he is standing looking pale while sweat is streaming down his body. He isn't wearing his mask. He's just covered with a blanket. I hugged him before he knew it. He's burning.

 **"Hey.. Don't. I'm soaking in sweat. You'll caught my germs."** He said in a weak tone while trying to push me away from him. 

I let him go from my embrace. **"Did you eat?"** I asked him as I walked towards the kitchen.

 **"Why are you even here?"** He asked as he walked towards the kitchen as well. **"Didn't I asked** **Komori** **to tell you not to come here?"** He added. I didn't even bat an eye on him instead, I checked his fridge for possible ingredient for porridge.

He walked towards me. He pulled my wrist making me face him. He saw tears streaming down my face. **"Ah.. Why...?"** Those are the words that came straight from his mouth after seeing me crying.

 **"I don't know."** I said as I wiped my tears. **"Maybe because I know too well how it feels to be sick. I know it all too well that I feel in pain seeing my love ones sick."** I blurted as tears came streaming down my face.

He pulled me closer for a hug. As he pressed my head to his chest making me rest my head on his. **"I'm only doing this because I don't like seeing you cry. It's not like I like your germs now or anything."** He said as he tried to comfort me, patting my back.

He let me cry on his shoulder for a while until I calmed down. I felt his warmth. It's so calming. **"Feel better?"** He asked.

 **"Yeah.. thank you."** I pulled away from his chest. I saw a snot on his clothes. _'OMG! He'll kill me!_ ' I thought.

He looked at his shirt and just gave out a sigh. **"Hey! I'll clean that up."** I suggested. He rolled his eyes.

 **"Of course you should!"** He said as he raise his shirt up to his chest showing a bit of his abs and his v line but giving it a halt as he looked at me.

He raised me a brow. **"Like what your seeing?"** He teased. **"Remove my shirt for me. It's your snot. I don't want to touch this. It's disgusting."** He commanded.

I rolled my eyes and do as he asked me to do. I first lifted his shirt towards his shoulder. His body it's so clean. You'll see his formed abs. _'So this is what volleyball did to your body. It's hot.'_ I thought. Making my face show a creepy smile on it's own accord.

 **"Stop staring, germ."** He commanded. **"You know what I'll just take off my shirt myself. Get me a new shirt upstairs instead."** He added. I did what he told me.

I walked on my way upstairs. I saw two rooms. I tried to open the door on the left first but it's locked. I opened the door on my right which seemed to be his. I looked around. It's so neat. Everything is organized. I walked towards his desk on the side. A picture caught my attention.

The picture consist of a young woman and a young Sakusa . _'She looks like Sakusa. She must be his mother'_ I thought. They look so happy together. The young Sakusa in the picture wears a sincere smile. **"I wonder when will I be able to you smile like this again."** You murmured.

 **"Hey germ! What's taking you so long?"** You heard Sakusa shouted. You came back to your senses and ran to the closet. You didn't even looked at which shirt to get. You just took the shirt nearest to your hand and ran downstairs.

 **"Sorry, I was lost."** I said. He's still on the floor of the kitchen topless. The rays of light reflect his body sweat which make it look like it's shimmering. His body is slender yet buffed.

 **"Lost? The other room is locked why would you be lost?"** He asked as he cough right after. 'He must be cold.' I thought as I ran towards him and handed him the shirt. **"Wash this."** He commanded as he threw his shirt to my face. It's soaked in sweat but it still smells nice. There's a feint smell of strawberry.

 **"Put on the shirt, okay? You'll feel worse if you don't. I'll just put this in the washroom okay?"** I turned my back on him and making my way to the washroom to wash his shirt. When I came back he's there sleeping on the couch, shivering. He's getting soaked in sweat again.

I placed my hand on top of his forehead to check his temperature. He's burning. I tried waking him up to make him sleep on his own bed. **"Hey Saku-chan! Wake up let's go upstairs, okay?"** He opened his eyes.

 **"Oh my favorite germ is here. Hey germ!"** He said. _'He must be hallucinating due to high fever.'_ I thought. I helped him stand up.

 **"C'mon let's go upstairs okay?"** I said as I shouldered him on our way up. He's saying weird stuffs. It's actually funny. I've never seen him like this.

He closed his eyes again and then turned to me before opening his eyes. **"Hey! Do you know that you're dirty and you're touching me? I'll sue you."** He said I just giggled to what he's saying.

 **"Hey?"** He called as we both walked on our way upstairs. **"Do you know that I have a germ girlfriend? She's so annoying yet, she seemed like the sun for me. She's too bright. I thought I shouldn't get close to her but, I fell in love with her warmth."** He added. I actually felt sad hearing this for some reason.

 **"Yeah... What else?** " I asked him as the gap between us and his room grew near.

 **"I love her. I don't want to lose her like my mom. You see,my mom told me that love can become a disease and a cure. My mom gave me a disease and you know what?"** He asked me.

 **"What?"** I asked back.

 **"She became the cure..."** He said as I lay him down on his bed. I looked at him laying on his bed all sweaty yet, he looked so peaceful.

 **"You know, I can also be the disease...."** I whispered as I covered him with the blanket. I go downstairs and took some cold water and cloth.

I walked back to his room and place the cloth soaked in cold water on his forehead. _'He looks like an angel._ ' I thought as my put a feint smile on my face.

 **"I'm sorry for being selfish, Saku-chan..."** I whispered as I wipe the his sweat. **"I'll go home now, okay? Get well soon."** I said. I was about to stand up when I felt his hand on my wrist.

 **"Don't go... Don't leave me please..."** He begged with his weak voice. I don't know but, hearing those words hurts me like hell. I turned to him and he's looking at me. He looks so vulnerable. I just nodded as I took a seat on his bed.

 **"Hey germ, can I ask you a favor?"** He asked as he cupped my hands. **"Can you please cuddle me until I sleep? I just feel cold."** He begged. _'I can't say 'no' to his guy can't I?'_ I thought.

 **"Okay. Wait for me okay? I'll just update my parents okay?"** I assured him and he just nodded like the baby that he is.

**TO: Mom.**

**From: (y/n)**

**Hey mom? I won't come home tonight. I'll use my 2nd... for this okay? Please explain to dad.**

As soon as I sent the text I lay beside him. He took my hand and paced it on his head. He's indirectly telling me to caress his hair which I did. He slept on top of my shoulder as he hugged my waist. I can feel his warmth. To be in his embrace is the best place I could ever be.

**~~~**

The next morning, I woke up without him by my side. I ran downstairs immediately and I saw him cooking breakfast. **"Hey are you feeling better? Why are you doing those?"** I asked.

He looked at me and raised me a brow. **"Stop talking and start eating."** He took a strawberry and stuff it in my mouth. He then, washed his hands immediately. **"Ew, your saliva has germs."** He teased.

I munched the strawberry and swallowed fast. **"Hey are you really okay now?"** I asked worried. I tried to place my palm on top of his forehead but, he took a step back.

 **"What are you now? A pig? You munched and just swallow it like that?"** He teased.

 **"Stop avoiding the question, Saku-chan!"** I shouted.

 **"Yeah, I'm okay now germ."** He assured me. **"Tha...nks..."** He added as he whispered.

I smiled. I don't want anyone to suffer the same pain I did. Being sick is the worst scenario that could happen to my love ones.

We ate the breakfast he cooked and washed the dishes together.

 **"Hey did I bothered you too much yesterday?** " He asked as he wiped the plates.

 **"No, you've been sleeping like an angel all night."** I giggled.

He just rolled his eyes. **"Liar."** I just smiled at him.

 **"Well, let's just say just for a little bit."** I gigled.

**FLASHBACK (that night)**

It's 1 am in the morning and he's still hallucinating due to high fever.

 **"Get away from me germ! Get away from me!"** He shouted pushing me out of his bed.

 **"I'm (y/n)! You idiot! Go back to sleep!"** I commanded. He threw a pillow straight to my face.

 **"You're not (y/n)! (Y/N) is bright like the sun. You're filthy and disgusting."** He shouted. _'Just what am I in his hallucinations anyway?'_ I thought. I sat near his bed until he calmed down. I didn't even had the energy to go back to his bed. My drowsiness is taking over me.

It's now 2:30 am and he's hallucinating again. **"Hey you look just like my girlfriend. Do you have a boyfriend?"** He suddenly asked me, while tapping my head causing me to wake up.

 **"Yeah..."** I just answered. I'm really tired. _'So this is Saku-chan when sick huh? Such a pain in the ass but, he's too cute and precious.'_ I thought.

 **"What's his name?"** He asked.

 **"Sakusa Kiyoomi."** I answered.

 **"Oh! He has the same name as me. Wanna swap? I'll be your boyfriend since you seemed more clean than my girlfriend."** He suggested which made me laugh.

 **"Yeah, sure. Let's swap."** I answered amazed at his hallucinations. He pulled me up to his bed.

 **"Then, sleep beside me okay? I'll be your boyfriend now. Shower 10 times a day okay?"** He demanded but, then fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. _'This is too pure and precious.'_ I thought.

After that, the night became peaceful. He didn't wake me up after that.   
  


**FLASHBACK END**   
  


**"Forget that memory!"** He demanded. **"That's not me!"**

I just laughed at him. His expression was too priceless.

 **"So what do you wanna do today?"** I asked. He just stared at me for a minute before answering.

 **"Let's do the last two things on your list."** He suggested and I just nodded as a response.

After washing the dishes, he threw a shirt and pants. **"What's this for?"** I asked

 **"Shower. You filthy germ."** He teased. I just rolled my eyes and glared at him.

I took and shower and wore the clothes he gave. The clothes are too big. I looked like a human hanger. I walked out of the bathroom and glared at him.

 **"Pft. Human hanger."** He laughed. I pouted.

 **"I'm done. Now, your turn to shower."** I said while smirking. _'I bet he looks sexy in a bathrobe. Kami-sama please bless my soul with a Sakusa in a bathrobe.'_ I begged the Gods.

 **"You're one nasty germ."** He flicked my forehead. **"I've been cuddling a germ all night of course I showered first thing in the morning."** He answered.

**~~~**

We closed all the curtain in his house and opened the TV. The movie we have chosen is _'Coco'._ I've never watched Disney in the hospital before so, this is my first time watching Disney with someone.

We watched the movie with anticipation. Enjoying every scene. I laughed at the dog in the movie named Dante for being cute.

 **"Hey can we get a dog like that? Let's take care of him!"** I asked.

 **"Ew, no. He looks disgusting. Just take care of a fish or something."** He said.

 **"Hmph!"** I pouted.

The ending part is coming and I'm on verge of crying. When Miguel sang _' Remember me '_ to mama coco. I cried so hard.

 **"Idiot. Stop crying."** He teased. I looked at him and he's eyes are beginning to water.

 **"Ha! B*tch you're crying too!"** I teased.

 **"No, I'm not."** He said as he rolled his eyes and wipe the tears streaming down his face.

We teased each other for a while. When sundown came, I bid him goodbye.

 **"Hey, I'll go now okay? Take care of yourself."** I said as I waved my hand.

 **"Wait!"** He commanded which made me halt. **"Uhm, Can you watch my game next week? I'd like to hear a germ cheer on me."**

 **"Okay! I promise."** I said as I put a smile on my face. I walked back home wearing his clothes. I look stupid but, I like it.  
  


**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	11. "Is this enough reason?"

3 days left before Sakusa's match and I'm super excited. His practice is already over and I'm waiting for him outside the gym, enjoying the orange sky.

 **"Oi germ! Let's go?"** He called. I turned to him and smiled as I nod. We started to walk home together.

 **"Hey, Saku-chan?"** I called.

 **"Hm?"** He replied.

I gave out a sigh before continuing. **"What if we met in a different way? Will you still love me?"** I asked.

He rolled his eyes and flick my forehead. **"Ouch!"** I reacted.

 **"You felt that?"** He asked.

 **"Of course! What? Do you think I'm numb or something?"** I protested.

 **"Then, that's your answer."** He said as he walked past me. I was left in confusion.

I walked towards him matching his pace. **"What? I don't get it."** I asked.

 **"You felt my touch didn't you? Do you think I can touch other girls comfortably like that without any disgust?"** He asked.

 **"No?"** I replied.

 **"Then, that's your answer. I can never find someone like you."** He replied. I felt my heart beating fast as my cheeks felt hot.

The whole walk was quiet until we walked passed the park. I suggested that we go there before I walk him home. We saw a crying boy by the swing. He's about the age of 5 or 6 years old. I walked his direction and approached him.

I squatted to match his height. **"Hey baby boy? Is there something wrong?"** I asked.

He pushed me causing me to fall down the grown.

 **"Oi!"** Sakusa shouted at the kid while rasing hid brow. I glared at Sakusa to stop scaring the boy.

 **"Hey, it's okay. Tell me what happened. I'll help you."** I approached him again.

He looked at me, contemplating whether I could help him or not. **"You can't help me. Go away! You can't bring my parents back."**

My eyes widen hearing those words coming from his mouth. My own body moves to it's own accord and hugged him. **"You can cry your heart out. I'll be here."** I said as I caress his back.

He cried for a while until he pushed me. **"Let go! I'm okay now."** He said. I patted his head.

 **"You feel better?"** I asked.

 **"Yeah."** He replied. I looked at Sakusa and mouthed the words _'He's cute! Can we keep him?'_. He just glared at me so, I just giggled.

 **"Where do you live?"** I asked.

 **"Orphanage..."** He whispered. I felt bad sending him back while he's still sad so I had an idea.

 **"Hey, wanna play with us?"** I grinned. **"Let's play with that man over there."** I pointed to Sakusa. **"He may seem unapproachable but, he's actually kind."** I assured him. The boy nodded and I just smiled.

 **"Oi! Saku-chan! This boy, we'll make him happy okay?"** I smiled at him. I know he can't resist my bright smile. He just rolled his eyes.

 **"Just don't let him touch me."** He replied.

We played for an hour and a half but, Sakusa just sat on the swing watching us. _'He's such a kill joy.'_ I thought.

 **"Hey..."** The boy called out. **"My name is... Riku."**

I smiled at him. **"Riku, huh? That's a nice name. It means wise sky."** I patted his head.

 **"Can I call you 'mama'? You're just like my mom."** My eyes watered. _'Wahh! Kami-sama, you're giving me my own son at a very young age! You're very nice!'_ I thanked the Gods in my thoughts.

 **"I'd love that! But you have to call that guy over there 'papa' , okay? "** I said as I pointed at Sakusa.

 **"But, he's really scary. He's not like my father."** The boy argued.

 **"He's a good person. He's just sad just like you. You see that man over there lost his mom and he likes looking at the sky. Be his sky okay? Like what your name suggest okay?"** I said as I smiled at him, messing his hair.

 **"Why can't you just be his sky?"** He asked.

 **"Because someday the sun may not shine anymore and the moon may disappear but, the sky will always stay."** I giggled before carrying him in my arms. We walked toward Sakusa.

 **"Why are you carrying that human germ?"** Sakusa asked. I glared at him.

 **"See! I can never call him 'papa', mama."** Riku shouted.

 **"Mama? Pft"** Sakusa teased. **"And I could never have a son as dirty as you."**

 **"Hmp!"** Riku grunts as he turned his back to Sakusa and hugged me, placing his head on shoulder.

I glared at Sakusa. **"Why do you have to do that?"** I asked.

 **"Tch"** I heard him. He didn't even answer me instead he took his disinfectant and sprayed it over the kid. Riku coughed.

 **"Saku-chan!!"** I shouted.

 **"What? Get away from my girlfriend, you germ! You'll contaminate her."** He said. I don't know what to feel. _'I don't know if he's jealous over a kid or he just doesn't want any other human to touch me.'_ I thought as I giggled in my head.

 **"If you hate the kid touching me that much, carry him then."** I suggested.

 **"No! Don't give me to him mama!"** Riku shouted.

 **"Me? Carry a human germ? No."** He replied.

 _'These two, ugh you're making my head hurt. I think this guy will never have kids in the future.'_ I thought as I patted Riku's head who's currently in my arms.

Sakusa just glared at me. **"Let's go. We need to go home and Riku also needs to go home."** I said as I started walking.

 **"Give him to me."** He said as he tried to open his arms with disgust. I just gave out a soft laugh before giving him Riku.

We walked together to the orphanage. When I turned to look at Riku, he's fast asleep on Sakusa's shoulder. _'They look cute together.'_ I thought. I took my phone out and take a selfie with them without Sakusa knowing.

We reached the orphanage after minutes.

 **"Riku!"** The caretaker shouted **"I'm so glad you guys found him!"** The caretaker shakes my hand.

 **"Ah, we just found him in the park. He's a good boy."** I said. I turned to Sakusa who have the child in his embrace. I smiled before patting Riku causing him to wake up.

 **"Hey Riku.. It's tike to go home now."** I smiled at him. He turned to his surroundings and saw that his back at the orphanage again. His eyes widen as his eyes started to water.

 **"I don't want to be here. Can't I just come with you mama?"** He begged as tears came streaming down his face.

 **"I'm sorry. I'll come visit you soon okay?"** I took him from Sakusa's embrace and put him down. I wiped his tears and reached out my pinky for a pinky promise. **"I'll visit you again okay? And if I didn't this guys right here..."** I pointed to Sakusa. **"He'll visit you, okay?"** I assured him.

He nodded and made a pinky promise.

 **"Oi chibi germ! Call me papa next time. I'll teach you cleanliness when I come back."** Sakusa assured the kid before turning his back and started to walk away.

A feint smile form on my face. _'He's changing.'_ I thought as I stood up and waved my hand to Riku. Riku waved back and I walked away.

 **"Hey! Saku-chan, I didn't know you also have this soft side."** I teased.

 **"Shut up, germ!"** He grunts as I laughed at him. _'I hope to see this side of yours more Saku-chan_ ' I said in my thoughts.

 **"You just called me your girlfriend a while ago! Call me that again please!"** I pouted.

 **"No."** He replied. 

We walked home together and it was one of my favorite moments with him.  
  


**~~~**   
  


**Liliana P.O.V.**   
  


Today is Sakusa's game. I wanted to watch but I need my heart to heal and to do that I should train myself not to admire him. _'This is the first step.'_ I thought.

I'm here at the hospital visiting my grandmother. She's been confined here today. I volunteered to take care of her so, here I am.

I walked to the desk and asked for my grandmother's room. I walked towards to the said room when, someone caught my attention. She looked like she's in the middle of an argument. _'(y/n)?'_ I thought. _'What is she doing here? Isn't she suppose to be watching Sakusa's match right now?'_ I added.

I moved closer to check what's the commotion about.

 **"Let me go mom!"** She shouted.

 **"You can't! Not with that condition!"** The woman shouted which I think is her mom. A man on the other hand is blocking her way. I hid behind a wall and listened to their conversation.

 **"Ma.. Let me go! I need to be there. I'm all he have!"** She shouted.

 **"Can't you just let it pass? Once you've been cured you can go to his match as much as you can!"** Her mother shouted.

 **"That's right, honey. Listen to your mom."** Her dad assured as he tried to touch his daughter's hand.

 **"And when will that be, huh? When I die?"** She shouted. **"I've been living in this hospital for my whole life. I've been going through many operations. Did I get cured mom? Dad?"** She argued. _'(y/n)'s sick? But she told me the doctors said that she's okay now.'_ I thought.

 **"Ack!"** She shouted as she touched her head. She seems to be having headache. **"Just let me go please mom? I wanted to see him. I wanted to make him happy one last time. Let me be selfish just this once please?"** She begged as tears came streaming down her face.

 **"Honey..."** Her mother called out in a soft tone.

 **"I'll use my last ... for this. Let me go mom."** She commanded as she walked past her parents.

 _'She's sick? No, this can't be. Does Sakusa know this?'_ I thought. I walked out of the hospital and ran to the gymnasium. _'I better tell him! He needs to know.'_ I thought.  
  


**Sakusa's P.O.V.**   
  


5 minutes left and my game will start. I'm looking at the bleachers for her but, shes not here yet. _'Where is she? What's taking her so long?'_ I thought.

 **"Guys! Guys! Time for warm up."** The coach called. We all walked towards the gym and started to warm up.

The game will start soon and I can't see her anywhere. I looked around the bleachers one more time before I lined up.

The game started. I played my best. We're at point advantage but she isn't here. Whenever I spike the ball or there's a timeout I glance at bleachers looking for any signs of her.

The game finished we won. We won after 3 sets. I made a lot of mistakes, that's why the game took so long. The coach shouted at me for my loss of focus but, I didn't care. All I care about is her.

I excused myself from the team meeting and walked towards the bathroom. I tried to avoid to bump into people passing by as much as possible but, failed. I bumped into Liliana. My brows met.

 **"What are you doing here?"** I asked her. _'So, she's still watching my matches despite being turned down.'_ I thought.

 **"Forget about that! We need to talk!"** She shouted between pants.

 **"There's nothing we need to talk—"** My sentence was cut off when she said something that made my heart ache.

 **"(y/n)'s in the hospital. She's sick!"** She shouted.

 **"No, she isn't!"** I protested. My mind became a mess. I don't want to believe her. _'No! She's lying.'_ I thought.

 **"She can't come here because she's sick."** She repeat.

 **"Shut up, germ!"** I shouted. **"Stop lying to me."** I added. _'Stop lying please...'_ I thought.

 **"You can hate me all you want. But here.."** She handed me a piece of paper before turning her back. **"She's confined in that hospital."** She said.

My eyes are starting to water. My mind's a mess. _'What did I do to deserve this? Kami-sama... Just once can't you stop making me feel the same pain over and over again.'_ I begged in my head.

I looked at the paper one last time before I ran. I kept on bumping to people. I didn't mind. In fact, I don't care anymore. I just want to know that she's safe. That Liliana's lying. _'Please be a lie...'_ I begged.

 _'Who cares about germs? If I'm going to lose that one germ I love.'_ These are the only thoughts I have in my head as I ran towards the crowd bumping into filthy people.  
  


**(Y/N)'s P.O.V.**   
  


I walked passed my parents. I don't care anymore. My legs and my head aches but, I don't care. I just wanna see him smile again. I just wanna fulfill the debt. I just wanna make him happy one last time.

 _'Kami-sama, help me please. Let me be selfish one last time. Give me a strength to make him happy one last time.Let me correct my selfishness.'_ I begged the Gods as I ran outside the hospital wearing a hospital gown. I don't care if people will think I'm crazy, I just wanna see him.

I arrived at the gymnasium panting. I tried to catch my breath but, I saw him. He's running towards my direction. He's bumping into people but, he doesn't mind. **"Saku-chan...?"** I whispered. I ran to him.

He stopped when he saw me. **"Sorry I'm late."** I smiled.

 **"Why?"** He asked.

 **"What do you mean why?"** I asked back smiling.

 **"Why didn't you tell me you're sick?"** He asked again as his eyes started to water. _'Stay strong (y/n). You can do this.'_ I thought to myself.

 **"Let's talk about this next time, okay? So, how's your match?"** I smiled at him. Showing no hint that I'm in pain.

 **"No! What's there to talk about next time, if we could do it now?"** He shouted.

 **"I loved you Saku-chan."** I showed him the most sincere smile I got as I turned my back and look up the sky. My eyes are beginning to water. **"But, you can't get too close to the sun, you'll just hurt yourself."**

 **"Are you breaking up with me?"** He asked. _'Ahh, I really want to see his expression but, I'm afraid I'll turn fragile in front of him if I do that.'_ I thought.

 **"Yes, I'm letting you go now. I'm sorry for being selfish and thank you for making me experience what it's like to have a boyfriend."** I said as I started walking.

I felt his hand on my wrist. I halted. **"What's so wrong with being selfish!? What's so wrong of thinking that of you own happiness?! What's so wrong about it!!? Tell me (y/n)!!"** He shouted. Tears came streaming down my face. _'Ah, second time. This is the second time he called me by my name. I really like it when he calls me by my name.'_ I thought as I felt my chest throbbing.

I turned to him. **"Everything is wrong Saku-chan! I can't be selfish because I don't have that much time! I'll end up hurting you if I do. So, please let me go.. It's for the best. I have no more reason to be selfish. I'm satisfied already."** I said although, it's the exact opposite of what I want to tell him. _'I want to scream and shout to let me stay a little bit longer. Let me feel his warmth more but, I can't. I don't want to see him suffering in the end.'_ I thought.

 **"Then I'll give you a reason to be selfish. Is this enough...?"** He pulled me by my wrist, making me face him. He cupped my face. I felt his warmth on my lips. It's a passionate kiss. It's full of desires. It's a kiss that tell you _'I'll be here so be selfish as long as you want. I'll be okay.'_  
  


**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	12. Chapter 12

**"Then I'll give you a reason to be selfish. Is this enough..."** He pulled me by my wrist, making me face him. He cupped my face as I felt his warmth on my lips. It's a passionate kiss. It's full of desires. It's a kiss that tells you _'I'll be here so be selfish as long as you want. I'll be okay.'_

I pulled away. " **Why are you doing this? Can't you understand the situation?"** I asked angrily as my eyes started to water. _'I don't want to let go but, I need to.'_ I thought.

 **"It's you who don't understand. If you're sick then, that's more than enough reason to be selfish! What are you so scared of? Hurting me?"** He shouted as he came close wiping my tears with his warm fingers. _'Stop_ _Saku_ _-chan, if you continue this I might break.'_ I begged in my mind.

 **"Yes! So what if I'm scared of hurting you? You've experienced this pain before aren't you scared?"** I asked as I pushed his hand away.

 **"What's more scary than losing someone without doing anything? What do you want me to do? Watch you die? That's just pure cruelty (y/n)..."** He said as tears came streaming down his face.

I'm feeling weak not because I'm sick but, because seeing him like became my weakness. **"Sorry..."** I whispered. **"I'm really sorry..."** I whispered again as I looked down. Tears were streaming down my face. I can't stop crying.

He pulled me close to his chest. I felt his warm embrace. He's caressing my back. **"Be selfish. That's a command. I don't take no as an answer."** He commanded.

I nodded as a response. I felt safe. I never wanted anything so bad than to live starting that moment. I didn't care about the people. I just wanted this moment to last. 

**~~~**

Ever since that day, I was back to my prison. I can't go to school anymore but, I'm not sad. Komori comes to visit me whenever he's free same goes with Liliana. On the other hand, Sakusa visits me everyday. There's also times where he'll sleep over, like today.

 **"Hey** **Saku** **-chan, are you sure you'll stay here?"** I asked.

 **"What? You feel uncomfortable?"** He asked back raising me a brow.

 **"No, it's just you're doing this every week don't you feel tired?"** I asked.

 **"No. Why would I be?"** He said as he pulled out a grape juice and Nintendo from his bag. **"Shut up with the overthinking crap. Let's do the things on your list tonight."** He smiled. I just nodded.

He placed two wine glass on the table. **"I'm sorry we can't drink wine here so, here. We'll drink grape juice instead."**

 **"Let's watch movies while drinking grape juice."** I suggested as I smiled at him and he nodded. **"Let's play Nintendo next time."** I added.

He hid the Nintendo in his bag. **"What kind of movie do you wanna watch?"** He asked. _'I'm not used to this. Why is he being too kind?'_ I thought.

 **"Call me germ!"** I demanded.

 **"What??** " He asked, confused.

 **"I said call me germ. You're being too nice. I'm not used to it."** He gave out a soft laugh.

 **"You really are something aren't you?"** He teased. **"I've never met someone who loves being called a germ as much as you do."** He added.

 **"Well, I've never met a** **germophobe** **who fell in love with a germ."** I shrugged as I laughed.

 **"Stupid."** He said as he checked the possible movies on the list. I saw coco and pointed it.

 **"That movie!! Please!!"** I shouted.

 **"Again!?"** He protested.

 **"Yes!"** I answered.

 **"Watching a movie you've already watched is stupid."** He complained and I just laughed. He clicked the movie on the tablet and it started playing.

He was sitting on the chair next to my bed and I felt that he's uncomfortable. **"Hey come sit beside me."** I commanded as I moved to the side and patted the empty space.

 **"Okay. I'm only sitting here because I'm uncomfortable not because I want to sit with a germ."** He justified.

 **"Okay, okay."** I said as I put my hands up, showing him defeat.

A feint smile formed on his face. _'I hope you'll always smile like this.'_ I thought.

He flicked my forehead. **"Stop staring at me, germ!"** He said. That's when I realized that I was staring at him for a whole minute.

 **"Sorry. I was just enjoying the moment."** I teased.

We watched the movie together. He's emotionless the whole time or that's what I thought. We're on that part where Miguel is singing _'Remember Me'_ to Mama Coco.

**_//Remember me.Though I have to say goodbye.Remember me.Don't let it make you cry~//_ **

I saw tears fall from his eyes while I'm staring at him the whole scene. **"What are you staring at, germ? You're crying too don't get me started."** He teased.

 **"Yeah... I am crying too."** I smiled at him. _'Will he cry like this when I'm gone?'_ I thought. _'I hope he won't cry.'_ I added.

 **"For even if I'm far away. I hold you in my heart....Know that I'm with you. The only way that I can be. Until you're in my arms again. Remember me."** I sang skipping some parts on purpose, letting him know how I feel indirectly.

 **"I didn't know that germs could sing."** He teased as he wiped his tears.

 **"You bet!"** I answered back trying to hide every once of pain I'm feeling. _'I wanna live! I want to see him happy. I want to see his matches.'_ I thought.

 **"Hey, germ.. cheers?"** He said giving me a wine glass with grape juice. I took the glass and clink our glasses. It felt like our first ever official date.

 **"Why are you still crying?"** He reached out his hand to wipe my tears but, I wiped my tears before he could.

 **"Nothing. I just love Mama Coco."** I smiled at him. We drank our juice and started talking about his day. He talked about practice and how he hates Komori for accidentally touching him. He was so cute. _'I bet this is the first time in a long time that he talked about his day like this.'_ I thought.

I placed his head to my shoulder. **"Rest. It's been a long day."** He just closed his eyes and nod. We slept on each other's embrace like there's no tomorrow.

**(Y/N)' Mom P.O.V.**

I was nearly home when I realized I forgot my purse at the hospital so, I turned the car around.

Ever since, (y/n)'s hospitalization Sakusa has been there. I'm a bit hurt for the child for he'll soon bear the same pain as us. On the other hand, I also feel at ease for my poor baby will also experience the love of a man other than his father.

I arrived at the hospital. I immediately ran towards my daughter's room. I saw her father standing outside, watching from the door's window.

 **"Hey honey? I thought you left."** I asked. He turned to face me and I saw tears. **"Why is there something wrong?"** I asked as I peak through the door's window. I saw my daughter sleeping in Sakusa's embrace. It was such a nice sight but, at the same time painful.

 **"It hurts honey."** He answered. **"Why does it have to be our daughter. I feel bad for the kids, they deserve better."** He added.

I hugged my husband. **"I know, it's hard and unfair but, we need to be strong. It's just like the sun will always set and the moon will always have flaws."**

We looked at the kids together. _'They seem happy but, for how long?'_ I thought. 

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

Weeks passed by it's still the same. I still visit her every practice and sometimes we'll get some fresh air together. We also play Nintendo sometimes to lighten the mood. However, there were changes on (y/n)'s behavior. I can see she's becoming quiet and sometimes insecure.

 **"Hey, germ!"** I greeted as I opened the door to her room.

 **"** **Saku** **-chan you're here."** She greeted back as she ran towards my direction while pulling her IV Drop.

 **"Calm down, germ. You might hurt yourself."** I reminded. I walked her to her bed and sat by her side.

 **"I'll show you something."** She brought out a flower from the cabinet, it's red. I examined the flower, that's when I realized it's a spider lily.

 **"Where did you get this?"** I asked angrily. **"There's no spider lily around here so, don't lie to me."**

**NOTE:** **_Red spider lilies are bright summer flowers native throughout Asia. They are associated with final goodbyes, and legend has it that these flowers grow wherever people part ways for good._ **

**"I asked for it."** She answered smiling which annoyed me more.

 **"Don't smile at me! Do you have a death wish or something?"** I shouted.

 **"Probably? Let's break up** **Saku** **-chan. I'm tired. I don't love you anymore."** She said.

I wanted to get mad at her. I wanted to shout but, I shouldn't. I know where this is coming from. I know she's scared. I know it's harder on her part.

I hugged her. **"No. You're overthinking again. I told you just be selfish. It's okay."**

She punched me in the chest. **"Stop! I said I don't love you anymore."** She cried. **"I'm suffering** **VHL** **syndrome. Sooner or later I'll lose my hearing or maybe my sight first! Don't ask me to be selfish!"**

**NOTE:** **_Von_ ** **_Hippel_ ** **_-_ ** **_Lindau_ ** **_(_ ** **_VHL_ ** **_) disease is an inherited disorder characterized by the abnormal growth of both benign and cancerous tumors and cysts in many parts of the body._ **

**"I love you isn't that enough reason?"** I assured her.

 **"Let's see about that..."** She started to remove her hospital gown.

 **"Hey, stop. What are doing?"** I asked. She didn't even listen to what I said. She just continued to strip her hospital gown. Leaving only her bra and her shorts.

 **"Now, tell me you still love me."** She turned around. I saw scars. It was so painful to look at, not because it's ugly. It's because I felt pain behind those scars. I felt her struggle to live behind each and every scars.

My hand moved to it's own accord. I started to caress each and every scar on her body. **"Yeah, I still love you."** I said as tears started to fall from my eyes. She's crying and I am too.

 **"Why are you doing this!?! You're a** **germophobe** **! You're supposed to feel disgusted!"** She cried as I tried to dress her up.

I hugged her. **"I am a** **germophobe** **but, with you..? I can't. I just can't. All those scars, I love them. It proves how much you wanted to live. It proved how strong you are. So, tell me why after all those struggles are you giving up now of all times?"**

She just cried. **"Soon, I won't see you anymore. I won't be able to hear you too. It'll be a world full of darkness without you. I don't want that."**

 **"But, you'll still feel my warmth won't you?"** I asked. **"It'll be okay. I promise"** I added as I caress her hair.

**~~~**

Everything went well, she felt more positive. Although, her condition is becoming worse. I'm in today's volleyball practice. Coach said he has an announcement to make before tomorrow's match.

 **"Listen up guys! I know tomorrow will be the start of the tournament so, don't stay up too late okay? I'll see you all tomorrow."** He said.

 **"Hey Sakusa going to the hospital again?"** Komori asked.

 **"Yeah, (y/n) needs me."** I answered.

 **"Aren't you in pain too? Are you sure you're okay?"** He asked again.

 **"Yeah, she's my priority. I can't lose another person in my life. I can't take. No, more like I won't make it."** I answered as I packed my stuff.

 **"Just know that the whole team is here for you."** Komori assured as he patted my back.

 **"What the f*** **ck** **? Don't touch me. Your germs are filthy."** I said.

 **"Haha! Yeah, you're still fine."** He teased.

I walked towards the hospital after that. I arrived after a few minutes and ran immediately to her room. I'm so excited to tell her about tomorrow's match.

I opened the door and saw that she's not in there. _'Did something happened while I was gone?'_ I thought.

I searched the whole vicinity. I looked for her parents. I saw them on the bench near the ICU crying.

 **"(y/n)'s mom?"** I called.

 **"Sakusa, oh you're here..."** She said in a soft tone.

 **"Where's (y/n)?"** I asked. There's this heavy feeling on my chest. I can't get it off. I'm scared.

 **"The doctor told us that she could get her operation however, she doesn't want to take it. She said going into that operation will only kill her."** Her mother sobs as her father comforts her. **"We tried to talk to her about it but, she ran away. Please Sakusa make our daughter take the operation. We want her to live."** Her mother begged.

I quickly searched the vicinity again. I saw her on the bench near the sakura tree. This is where we first met. I walked towards her.

 **"Hey (y/n).."** I called.

 **"Is that you** **Saku** **-chan?"** She asked, that's when I noticed that she's been quiet all this time because she's loosing her sight. **"Come seat here."** She commanded as she patted the available space near her.

I sat beside her. **"Why are you here?"** I asked as my voice started to tremble. I am scared. I don't know how to comfort her.

 **"I just wanted some fresh air."** She smiled. **"So how's your day?"** She asked.

 **"The tournaments will start tomorrow. Watch me on TV okay?"** I said as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

 **"Yeah, I will."** She nodded. **"Uhm,** **Saku** **-chan do me a favor?"**

 **"Okay, what is it?"** I asked my eyes are starting to water. I can feel her. I can sense her weakness. I don't like it.

 **"Smile for me please. I want to see it before I lose my sight."** She begged.

Tears started to fall down my face. _'How can I smile knowing that you're in pain?'_ I thought.

 **"Please.."** She begged again. I turned to her as I wiped my face. I smiled. It's the most sincere smile I can give for now.

She cupped my face. **"Ahh, so pretty. Smile like this more often okay? I'll be watching"** She said as she groped my face. I can feel it she can't see me anymore. She closed her eyes. **"Don't cry. It's okay. This was meant to happen anyway. I was prepared for this"** She assured.

 **"Yeah. I won't."** I answered.

 **"Hey, do you know that you owe me something?"** She asked.

 **"I do? What is it?"** I asked.

 **"We've finished the list remember? Sing me that song."** She commanded. _'Ahh, yes. I promised I'll sing her that.'_ I thought.

**(Y/N)'s P.O.V.**

I can't see him anymore. All I can see is darkness but, I can still hear him. Although, I can feel my senses fading.

I asked him to sing and he's singing.

**_"Track suits and red wine_ **

**_Movies for two_ **

**_We'll take off our phones_ **

**_And we'll turn off our shoes_ **

**_We'll play Nintendo_ **

**_Though I always lose_ **

**_'Cause you'll watch the TV_ **

**_While I'm watching you.."_** He sang. _'He's not a good singer. If ever someone hears him they'll probably laugh.'_ I thought. _'But I love it.'_ I added.

He keeps singing while my hearing is starting to fade.

**_"Dumb conversations_ **

**_We lose track of time_ **

**_Have I told you lately_ **

**_I'm grateful you're mine?"_** He sang. I just kept my eyes closed as I listened to his voice. It's calming.

 **"Hey (y/n) I love you..."** He whispered in my ear. I smiled.

 **"Yeah? I love you too. Can you call me germ for the last time?"** I asked him. I can hear his sobs and hiccups. _'_ _Gomene_ _Saku_ _-chan, I'll let you go now. Sayonara, please be happy.'_ I thought

 **"Okay. I love you my germ."** He said. _'Ahh, I'll miss that.'_ I thought as I felt the darkness embrace me.

_'I'm free.'_

**Sakusa's** **P.O.V.**

As I said those words, I felt her let go. She's gone. Tears cam streaming down my face. I can't help it. _'She's free. She's no longer in pain but, why am I crying? I should be happy for her.'_ I thought.

 **"In the end, we are just passing each other by huh? I'll stay here as I hold on to the pain your love left me. How will I be able to endure this grief?"** I cried the whole time as the Sakura flowers rain on us. 

**~~~**

The next morning, I came to the gym as scheduled. My eyes are puffy. (Y/N)'s parents are busy for her burial.

 **"Hey, you don't have to play."** Komori said.

 **"I must."** I said.

The game started and I was looking down the whole time. I can't sense the game. I can't think properly until I felt an invisible warm embrace.

 **"Hey,** **Saku** **-chan. I can finally fulfill my promise to watch your game. Look up! Volleyball is a game where in you look up okay? So, keep doing that."** I heard her.

I came to my senses and as I looked up I saw Riku.

 **"Papa! Mama said I'll be your sky so, look up!"** He shouted as he waved.

 **"Ahh.. yeah. I promised after all."** I whispered.

_'Whenever I miss you. I'll just cry secretly like this and look up like I always do. So, (y/n) watch me..'_

**THE END.**


End file.
